The Finish Line

Winter Sabbatical

2012-01-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

I am taking a winter blogging sabbatical. I should return in about a month or so. In the mean time, I will be working on some short works of fiction, running in 9 degree weather, brewing Kombucha tea, and trying to capture the ever-fleeting moments with my little family before those moments become museum specimens.

Here is the first line of my latest children's fiction series based on Nephew #1 (my muse). It is about a wild boy:

"A little boy wandered through the forest. He was not scared. The forest looked after him. He was safe and warm. At night, the forest sang him to sleep with her coyotes howling at the moon and her crickets chirping at the stars and her owls hooting at the rustling wind."

This are the first couple of lines from my latest adult short fiction thriller based on my second favorite muse, my Grandmother. It is about an unlikely serial killer:

"I've known my grandmother was a serial killer since I was a little girl. Going through her house now with my mom and aunts, it becomes obvious they don't know. I am surprised. Grandma wasn't great at burying the bodies, especially in her old age. I should have been better about helping her."

See you all in February!

Mortal Combat [A Reflection of Growth in 2011]

2011-12-30T07:37:00.000-08:00

We have made it to Ft Leavenworth and are settled in to our temporary digs as we get ready to celebrate the new year. I am grateful for the wonderful blessings of 2011 and look forward to what lies ahead. It has been a true blessing watching my son grow into a healthy, happy toddler. I have also had the pleasure of watching my husband grow as a true servant leader during his time in Command in this past year. I feel like I just sat back and watched with amazement as my little family grew in leaps and bounds in 2011. I am so proud of them! Growth is an amazing blessing, but selfishly, I am glad that we are all moving into the next phase of uninterrupted family time, peaceful sleep, and the calm waters of lakes :)

And what of my own reflections of growth in 2011?

I learned that I am not invincible (I have to re-learn this one every year, so God just keeps it on the list).
I am never going to be perfect.
I am definitely not strong :)
I seem to have learned the most valuable lesson of all from a children's song:

"We are weak, but He is strong."

Back in July, I reached a point where I almost called my doc to request medication. The scariest thing about this experience was that for the first time in my life, I could not "shake it off" by going for runs. Exercise was not the cure-all I always knew it to be.

As a new mom, your brain is wired for not getting sleep to a point, but if you can't fall back asleep after being woken up, or if you are having a lot of anxiety or feeling sad all of the time 8 months after giving birth, like I was, it could be that something else is going on. I hesitate to use the word post-partum depression, which is a serious condition and also no joke. I am not a doctor, but I think that sometimes it is possible to just be "off". Our systems can become imbalanced for a lot of reasons. Those of us with higher-than-usual levels of hyperactivity can especially attest to this anyway, baby or none :)

I went in for a physical, and everything was fine, if not off-the-charts. Vitamin D, hemoglobin, and electrolytes as well as thyroid function were all A+++. I was told by my doctor that "my vitamin D levels were almost unheard of" they were so good. I decided that instead of asking her about medication that I would talk to the people in my life that I trusted most and tell them what I had been feeling, to both prep them and myself for the possibility that I might need help, and to just bounce stuff off of them. If my mom or husband or BFF had said, "yeah, you seriously need Prozac," I would have called. What I got was, "really?" "huh." "really?" In any case, I started to research some other alternatives to medication and causes of my anxiety and that suffocating feeling of sadness known as depression.

I was thankful to have both my husband and my journal to fall back on during this time because what I realized is that the number one cause of my anxiety was that I needed to just let go a little. Realizing that I am not [my idea of] perfect. I am not my Mom. My house will never be perfectly cleaned or smell like yummy things baking 100% of the time despite having a million kids. I am not my BFF. My son is not in an accredited preschool learning 15 languages while I am well on my way of becoming the CEO of some major company and running marations. I am not an early childhood education specialist/kindergarten teacher.

I am just me. little h won't know how to eat with a spoon by himself at 13 months old, and he'll probably have a warmed bottle of milk before bed until he's 20 :) But he'll know the miracles of a watershed and the smell of rain and a lot of silly songs. He will know what leaves taste like and probably slugs and what a spider web covered in morning dew looks like. He'll know the sound of silence and the roughness of tree bark and the stickiness of applesauce spilled all over the front of him because he ate it in his car seat, on the way home from somewhere.

I would like to end this by saying that in no way am I anti-medication (in general) for those who really need it. I just happen to believe that most of us really don't and the side effects of ALL medication, be it pain or anti-anxiety or high blood pressure, terrifies me beyond belief. I hope this post reflects the fact that I heavily weighed this option.

The only way for me to let go is to be outside, in nature. It is the only place I am ever really and truly relaxed. Going for a run or a walk just wasn't enough of being outside. It is not how I am wired. Going back outside meant that I was not getting as much writing done, but I was able to let go of that by just trusting in the fact that if God wants me to write and get these stories out of my head, he'll give the time to me.

Nature is where I am happy, and as it turns out, it is where little h is happiest, too :)

May you all enjoy the calm waters of lakes in 2012. Happiest New Year.

A Course of Action, a Goodbye, and a Love Letter

2011-12-14T14:35:00.000-08:00

image from the sample pictures on my computer

During the course of your life, you will witness the actions of various people, be they individuals, families, or entire societies. Sometimes you will see the same actions for years before you are actually moved by them or affected by them in some way. But at other times, all actions become significant and moving all at once. It is called being touched, and quite often, our paths become directed in this manner to ourselves, act. "For love, if it finds you worthy, will direct your course."

This post is about another recent act of kindness that changed the course of my entire day. The other day I was leaving the UPS store parking lot near the mall (puke). The rain was coming down in sheets, and it was 50 degrees F outside. For San Diego, this is cold :) An old homeless man was standing on the corner with a sign, drenched and shivering. A woman unrolled her window and handed him an umbrella. I rarely cry, but that day, I was so touched by this act of humanity and kindness that I cried all the way home. Why this particular act of charity? I don't know. Just the right time, I guess.

I mentioned her a couple of posts ago, but I started following Stephanie's blog when I was in my third trimester of pregnancy with little h, daydreaming about running with him (I was on bedrest at the time). Her son is about 8 months older than mine, and she's a small business owner and runner and lives in Texas. I had never seen any other blogger do this before, but she does this thing every Friday which she calls "Filanthropy Friday". She just finds some random thing to donate to every Friday and blogs about the organization and the need. It is usually only a few dollars here and there, but man, people donate $5 to Starbucks a DAY and think nothing of it. I don't know how people afford that, but with my one less bottle of wine per week that I am now not drinking, I figured I could at least cough up $6 week. If I ever wanted to do something like this on a regular basis.

On that note, I would like to mention that there are a lot of generous, giving, nurturing people in my life: Givers of time, of a listening ear, of food, of needed support. Many of you live here in San Diego. I have had the honor and the pleasure of being in your presence for almost an entire decade, and damn, I am going to miss you!

Thankfully, I am married to the best one, and I go where he goes. "Let it [love] rather be like a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

Love One Another

Love one another, but make not a bond of that love.

Let it rather be like a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

And stand together, and yet not too near together.

For even the pillars of the temple must stand apart;

and the oak tree and the cypress will not grow in each other's shadow.

Remember that love gives nothing but from itself.

Love possesses not, nor would it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.

And think not that you can direct the course of love.

For love, if it finds you worthy, will direct your course.

-Kahil Gibran, Lebanese-American poet (1883-1931)

Excerpt from his book of poetic essays, The Prophet

Thank You for Your Kindness

2011-12-08T16:13:00.000-08:00

image source: getty images (John Lund/Riser)

“Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness.”-Mother Theresa

Paid a recent visit to the Pediatrician's office for little h's 12-month immunizations and checkup. This momma is not a fan of the Dr's office, of hospitals, dentists, or anywhere with poky things that sound like drills and extract fluids and smell like hand sanitizer and old libraries and stale air. And are crawling with nasty, nasty germs. Cesspools of health and healing. I genuinely have to focus on relaxing and having fun before little h's dr appointments because I know you pass that stuff on to your kids, and I don't want my kid to freak out about going to the dr or the dentist. He'll probably be the one forcing me to go when I am an old lady.

I was extremely unprepared for what was going to be happening at this particular appointment. Normally, I know every poke, prod, and question that is about to occur. Turns out, he got 2 pokes per leg, plus a tb test in one arm PLUS a blood draw (for lead???? really?? he's ONE) in the other arm. The blood draw was last, and we had to go up a floor to the lab. He was sore and upset, and I was trying to be a good sport, wiping the sweat off of my brow, singing him silly songs and letting him play with my phone and eat strawberry yogurt melts.

The lady at the desk to the lab just looked up at me and in the most soothing, sweet tones, goes, "Are you okay, Momma? How you doin'? You doin' gooood. Oh, now look at this baby, what a SWEET boy. He's doin' gooood too. Now we're just gonna get you in an out an taken care of, and you just sit there for a minute."

I seriously just wanted to go over and hug her. She made my whole day and probably my son's as well. Little h also got the best phlebotomist I have ever seen, and I have had my blood drawn about 80 million billion times. I have never been so impressed with a lab in all my life.

Thank you, random lab lady, for your kindness. You have no idea what it meant to me or what an example you probably set on a daily basis for a lot of sweaty people.

Picking up the Pace and Giveaway #1 Winner Announced!

2011-12-01T09:49:00.000-08:00

Welcome December! You are about to keep my little family as busy as ever! We have an official toddler among us, and this momma is now equipped with the messiest, noisiest, stickiest activity ideas and some new running shoes :) A bloggy friend of mine (who is, by the way, an awesome mom and a total inspiration of how to raise a kid, in my opinion) recently pointed out that "Baby H" is no longer a baby. He is "Toddler H". However, I feel weird calling him "Toddler H", so in the true Dr. Seuss's ABC tradition (we have read this book so much I have the entire thing memorized), Baby H will now be referred to as "little h".

"Big H, little h, what begins with H?
Hungry horse. Hen in hat. H...h...H."

It is officially time to increase our running mileage! I am excited that after taking what felt like forever to get back to my "normal" slow-ass running time (rather than my post-baby time of running so slow that 75-year old fast-walkers passed me), it finally happened. I jog comfortably (without really raising my HR) at about a 10-minute mile. If I am attempting a tempo-ish run, which I guess would be about a 9:40 mm, my HR goes up. I am not even sad that that is only a 20-second difference (haha). I am actually quite happy to at least finally have 2 paces again :) In all honesty, doing this with a jogging stroller probably doesn't help my time, but it is still better than running on a treadmill, so I am not complaining. In a previous post, I wrote how I had designed the perfect post c-section running workout, and I stand by it. It involves more strength building than running and is very easy to incorporate into a busy day, with or without a toddler tugging at your leg :)

The winner of my 1st giveaway is Mrs. K! I hope you love and enjoy this book as much as we did, and if I could, I would give one of these to every new parent out there. Please check out Mrs. K and Captain J! Mrs. K is a busy new mom to a beautiful baby boy and is currently working on her Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She is also a runner, a non-fiction writer and I THINK a bit of a football fan. Congratulations, Mrs. K!

Happy Birthday

2011-11-29T16:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 1st Birthday Baby H!

You are our light and our love, and we will never, ever, ever fly for 5 hours with you sitting our our laps again :) But we will greet you with hugs and kisses every morning, as long as you shall live under our roof. Even when you are a big, teenage boy and you are too cool for hugs and kisses. Just try to stop us.

Standing outside Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop on the corner of Bourban Street in New Orleans!

This place proclaims itself to be the oldest bar in the country, originally owned by a pirate (Lafitte himself). In this photo you can see 2 very proud parents of a cozy one-year old. Who needs birthday cake when you can celebrate with a hurricane from Pat O'Brien's? :)

"Nothing that you have not given away will ever truly be yours."-C.S. Lewis

What a remarkable gift, a toddler is. Baby H's first birthday was a flood of emotions and thanksgiving for the most perfect love I have ever known.

"Be the change that you want to see in the world."-Ghandi

I seem to have married the most perfect father for my son because we both believe that the ability to teach this to a child is something worth praying for and living for. And acting upon. We celebrate you every day, our son. Please don't throw your birthday beads in the toilet...

Real Thanksgiving

2011-11-18T07:33:00.000-08:00

I have always been fascinated by the bible story of Jonah. It seems like this is mainly a story that gets way watered down and told to young kids in church, but the truth is, it is a very remarkable and powerful account of hitting bottom and of salvation. I love the way this prayer is written just as much as the prayer itself. Whether it was meant as a metaphor or really happened matters not to me because the prayer is real. The thanksgiving is real.

Like a true nerd, I have highlighted my favorite lines :) Happy Thanksgiving.

Jonah's Prayer of Thanksgiving for Deliverance

Source: Jonah 2 (NKJV)

Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the fish's belly

And he said:

I cried out to the Lord because of my affliction,

And He answered me.

out of the belly of Sheol I cried,

And you heard my voice.

For You cast me into the deep,

Into the heart of the seas,

And the floods surrounded me;

All Your billows and Your waves passed over me.

Then I said, I have been cast out of Your sight;

Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.
The waters encompassed me, even to my soul;

The deep closed around me;

Weeds were wrapped around my head.

I went down to the moorings of the mountains;

The earth with its bars closed behind me forever;

Yet You brought up my life from the pit,

O LORD, my God.

When my soul fainted within me,

I remembered the Lord;

And my prayer went up to You,

Into Your holy temple.

Those who regard worthless idols

Forsake their own Mercy.

But I will sacrifice to You

With the voice of thanksgiving;

I will pay what I have vowed.

Salvation is of the Lord.

So the Lord spoke to the fish,

and it vomited out Jonah onto dry land.

Giveaway #1: Top 100 Baby Purees

2011-11-16T14:45:00.000-08:00

This post is actually a giveaway for a WONDERFUL book by Annabel Karmel called Top 100 Baby Purees. Ms. Karmel is a children's nutrition expert from the UK, and I have used, loved, and memorized this book since Baby H was 5 months old. It is not just a compilation of recipes for making your own baby purees. She gives very helpful hints and important facts throughout the book much in the same way the "x for Dummies" books do. They seem to pop out at you at the perfect times for the age of your baby. One of the first interesting facts I learned was that in order to properly absorb certain nutrients such as beta-carotene, you also need to provide baby with a fat source. I mashed a lot of yam with breast milk at first, then moved on to unsalted butter and now organic, whole milk and/or walnuts or fish.

She's obviously into food and likes cooking, so the entire thing is written from the perspective that you are going to enjoy preparing nutritious meals for your children and have fun with it. It is my belief after having done this as well as purchased store-bought baby food, that not only is it so much cheaper to prep your own baby food, but I can't even begin to put into words how the nutrition rates. BAH and I noticed that in a lot of the meat baby food (and this was the Earth's Best brand) the meat would be the third ingredient after water and usually apples...which are mostly water.

Make of this what you will, but I stand by my opinion that if you are making food for yourself, regardless of if you work outside of or in the home, or you sit around on your ass all day eating bonbons, there is no reason why your kid can't at least get one homemade meal a day. It certainly helps if you enjoy doing it!

This is the easiest, breeziest giveaway you will ever come across, short of someone literally just handing you the thing. I am not going to make you "like" anything or repost anything. Seriously? Just send me a good, old-fashioned email at beccaswilderness(at)gmail(dot)com or leave a comment on this post. I'll throw your name into a hat and contact you if you are drawn. The condition of the book is near perfect. I got what I needed from it and would love to pass it on to someone else. Best of luck. This giveaway will end December 1.

A Wild Ride

2011-11-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

This is so much better than Gymboree, and by the looks of things, I don't think I am the only one who feels that way :)

Dudes...We've been enjoying the cooler temps and getting solid sleep (thank you, 11-month old Baby H). The result? I can remember things again. Thankfully, I have realized that my brain didn't delete everything, it just stored it away for a while. All of the Latin names of plants and insects are starting to come back to me. The crazy-insano sense of smell, that's also come back (thank you, husband, for the new HEPA filter on the vacuum). I remember where I put things. My sense of time has (sort of) returned. Amazing.

The first year of motherhood...what a wild ride :) I have to say, this stage, whatever it is, totally rocks.

I am getting the sense that we are moving on to toddler-hood. Baby H wants to be independent and do things himself, but at the end of the day, he wants our attention most of all. After all, it was he who invented the Sandwich Hug (BAH+Baby H+Momma).

Hang in there, new parents. Your brain will return, or so it seems :)

First Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

"I'll have this one, Mom!"

The moment I found out I was having a baby, I dreamed of this day. As odd as that probably sounds, taking Baby H to the pumpkin patch was something I have looked forward to since even before he was conceived. I think, even more so than Christmas!

"I'm pretty sure I could drive this thing, if they let me."

Little did I know that while I was spending all that time fantasizing about this awesome day, that it really would turn out to be the most perfect day ever :) It was the first major event that BAH was here to enjoy with us, so I was an especially thankful wife and momma! Baby H was obsessed with this antique tractor. It won out over goats, hay, tractor ride, and pumpkins.

This goat was an especially good sport. The other 4 ran to the far side of the fence with the chicken.

It was a hot day, and we got there late morning, which ended up being perfect timing because it was not crowded. What is it about goats that is so adorable? I hope I have some one day. Goats and maybe a few chickens, alpacas, dogs, and a koi pond. Farm fantasy :)

"Don't you have any carrots?"

Sorry, buddy. We didn't see the carrots to feed you until we were on our way out :(

Yay!

We got on the hay wagon with a couple of other super cute little families, but there was this one lady who kept yelling at her kids (seriously) because they wouldn't pose correctly for her. She had a fancy camera and the CUTEST little baby in a Bjorn on her chest. I felt bad for the kids and for her. She clearly missed the point of the pumpkin patch and should have stayed home with her beloved camera and had a mimosa.

View of Poway, CA

I learned from the farmer that the City of San Diego owns and leases out all of this farm land as a "Farm Preserve". I had no idea and never worked in that area while I was a consultant. I was pleasantly surprised, to say the least :)

Baby H clapping

He enjoyed the hay ride and kept trying to touch the lady BAH was sitting by on the hay bale. He's a pretty extroverted kid, so far. It makes it easy to take him anywhere. He loves hair.

Not. Happening. "Get my face out of this...thing."

After about an hour, it was a thousand degrees Fahrenheit and time for lunch...

"I want to go NOW!!!"

So, we picked out our pumpkins, and headed to our favorite brewery for pizza, beer, and football. A great end to our day and to my first pumpkin patch with my sweet boys, with whom I love every moment.

Marriage Advice, a Shout-out to my Great-Grandma, and Some Projects for 2012

2011-10-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

When two huge book nerds come together in holy matrimony, they should never attempt to combine bookshelves. Combine everything else. Be a go-getter husband and wife team to the fullest extent. Love and respect each other and climb mountains together. But keep your books and your OCD organization of your books (ahem, like organizing by size and not by subject matter, whaaeeeit??) separate. It may just save your marriage :) God bless you, my wonderful Husband, but not being able to find my books by subject and micro-subject was giving me an eye-twitch. Not pictured here are the books stacked up in the garage, the kitchen, or in BAH's storage unit...We have issues. Clearly :)

In going through my reference/how-to section, I pulled out some of my favorite crochet books and began my projects list for 2012. I am currently working on a couple of pieces that I can't talk about (they are surprises!), so I'll share a few fun ideas for the future.

My Great-Grandmother taught me how to crochet when I was 11. She wasn't a particularly artsy or crafty woman, but she loved to crochet and was amazing at it. Great-Grandma Baily was left-handed, so it was interesting learning from her. Like my Grandmother, my Mother, and Me, she was not a great teacher :) People who are able to learn by watching do the best with these women (self included), which surprises people because we love to talk and we love to write. A true teacher always has my respect. It is quite an honorable gift. But I digress. I somehow learned to crochet by watching my left-handed Great-Grandmother for hours on end while we ate gingersnaps and Cracker Jacks and sat by her little woodstove.

Project #1: violas...lots and lots of violas (Image from 100 Flowers to Knit and Crochet)

Project #2: Stuff for Baby H

He will be one-year old next month!! It is time to take down his little mobile. He LOVES this thing. These are his friends. He kisses them good morning every day. I don't want to take it down. That's my baby thing that I can't seem to let go :) Totally weird, I know...

But then I was thinking...WHAT IF I cut the animals off and very securely fastened them into some kind of blanket or wrap that we could weave in and out of the bars on his crib? (Image from 200 Crochet Blocks)

And what if, just WHAT IF, I added some new friends to this mix? (Image from Crochet Me)

A Little Warmth & Motivation

2011-10-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

In the midst of autumn, I hope you are all taking time out of your busy schedules this week for pumpkin carving, seed roasting, and candy corn eating. If you are a beer lover, maybe you have been enjoying an Oktoberfest brew or celebration with 'wursts and polka music and big, soft pretzels. Are you in a part of the world where the leaves change color? Perhaps you have been appreciating beauty by taking long walks or drives and just looking up.

We should all look up more often.

I wanted to share with you one of my favorite vegan recipes, perfect for this season and for making your kitchen smell yummy. This is an oldie (been in my recipe box for about 12 years now) but goodie! I make these with big pumpkin cookie cutters and do raisins for the jack-o-lantern face. If you substitute whole wheat or soy four, keep in mind there will be an increased baking time (depends). I use veggie shortening. If you want to use something like applesauce instead of shortening, they will still taste wonderful, but will be more cakey and hard to cut into cookies.

They aren't super sweet and make a great pre-run snack!

One year I made these with chopped up, candied ginger, and they were to-die-for. It isn't something I usually have in my cupboard or on my grocery list, which is the only reason I have not done it again.

Gingerbread dipped into a steaming cup of fresh, black coffee is a mighty nice way to begin a morning with warmth and motivation, whether or not you plan on running (but hopefully you do!).

The Living Daylights

2011-10-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

I wanted to follow-up from my previous post and just let you all know how great it feels to be healthy again. After 48 hours of fasting and taking the Super-B Complex, I felt a mental clarity and balance that I have not felt since before I became pregnant with Baby H. The fasting was not extreme, and it felt so amazing that I have permanently adopted a few of the things. First, Super-B Complex is AMAZING. If you have not had a solid night of sleep in 3 months, I highly recommend looking into taking this supplement. Talk about an instant mood-booster! Second, I have significantly cut down on my cheese intake :) Yes, even mozzarella. One serving a day is not much compared to what I was eating. Third, almost no sugar with the exception of a little bit of chocolate, which I now eat with a few nuts of some sort. I wasn't consuming a lot of sugar, compared to most people, but even a tablespoon or 2 in my morning coffee was, I think, just too much for my body to process right now.

Don't underestimate the toll a lack of sleep can have on your body. Aside from making a person susceptible to illness, I think it can actually make a person start thinking differently (as in, not thinking). The big one I overlooked was that it can also make your body kind of hyper-sensitive to certain things like sugar, caffeine, and processed foods.

My first response to this experience was to eat a block of cheese a day and try to discipline and organize the living daylights out of myself and my life. It's like I was kicking myself while I was down, haha. Yes, this is pretty funny :)

Back to our old selves, Baby H and I have been running and dancing to an old favorite, John Lee Hooker. Baby H keeps time by slapping his hand on his leg, which I think he learned from Gymboree. The gritty predictability to this music is relaxing and somehow powerful. Enjoy, and be well, sleep or none :)

The Lung Tree

2011-10-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's a virus. It's probably a virus - Feels like twenty. Baby H getting through his little cold. No fevers for either of us, just lots of fluids, laughter, kisses, slow dancing, and even slower walks where your skin drinks in the sun's rays like a giant heating pad.

BAH has been out to sea. Mostly, I think this is probably a good thing (for him). We have been able to talk every day, which is the truest blessing. I can barely remember any of our conversations because my brain is mush from Baby H waking up 16 times a night (not really 16). I always remember the sound of my Husband's voice though. It would look like warm caramel if you could see it, out loud.

Moments like this require Puffs tissues, The Way of Herbs (1983), and the one and only Sylvia Plath:

...This is the lung-tree.

These orchids are splendid. They spot and coil like snakes.

The heart is a red-bell-bloom, in distress.

I am so small

In comparison to these organs!

I worm and hack in a purple wilderness.

p.52, The Way of Herbs (1983). This was me last week.

p.52, The Way of Herbs (1983). And now I am this. My ying and yang are apparently a bit confused right now. Except I never tolerate or prefer deep massage, nor do I very often feel timid :) I think I would have to be dead to be timid.

See? I told you it was a Sylvia Plath day :)

I stocked up on Kombucha, milk thistle, super B-complex, and miso and decided to do a 3-day "fast" of no sugar, meat, dairy (except yogurt), caffeine, alcohol, or processed foods. I think my system just needs a little bit of a cleanse and some rejuvenation.

Part of me knows that I should do this for longer than 3 days, but I already cheated when I was cutting up mozzarella for Baby H. We are talkin' serious cheese addiction. This may take more willpower than my mush brain contains.

I'll have to use my backup willpower :)

There is Definitely a Hole Inside My Ear

2011-10-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Laughs hysterically when I sneeze...

I recently finished a little flash fiction piece for a Halloween fiction contest. It was my first attempt at humor writing, and now that it is complete, I think I'd like to do more! Get a little meat on my humor bones!

If you can't laugh, you can't breathe. I've certainly never had a problem with laughing. I used to get in trouble in school sometimes because I would get the never ending giggles. Humor resides most everywhere, you just have to be able to see it, and having a sense of humor can keep a person from going to the dark side. However, being able to write humor is a very different bird and a fun, new challenge, perfect for the autumn season. Just because you like to laugh does not mean you are funny, and there is a stark contrast between laughing at someone or beside them.

As of this morning, I am not laughing, I am sneezing, sniffling, and coughing...Okay, so I am still laughing :) Baby H is licking his reflection in the washing machine going, "Oh, WOW!" Who knew the spin cycle could be so entertaining? What a goofball!

In conclusion, I will leave you with the perfect combination of sick + humor: The great Shel Silverstein...

Sick
by Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

In Love and Seeing Stars

2011-09-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

20w

This morning, Baby H and I were sitting on the grass of our favorite park, stretching and feeling good after a strong and fast 4-mile run. After doing a quick finger sweep of his mouth for ants and leaf parts, which he now eats, we walked over to the basketball court to watch some guys play. We then toddled over to the playground for a good swinging, after which, we found spider webs in the fence and tried to eat those too. This was all after Baby H clocked me in the face (hard) trying to initiate this game he plays with his Daddy. I think I was still seeing stars on our run :)

The funny thing about being pregnant is that you don't realize how much you are being taught about your child until after he's born. All of the little (and BIG) kicks and punches, or lack thereof; the stages of growth and the little ultrasound profile pictures...it is all 100% how they are going to be long after they are born. Lately, I find this completely amazing. Baby H never stopped moving when he was in my belly with the exception of when I went on long walks outside. He's still the same. He always felt so strong and big, and that is still how he feels, to me.

Where did this year go? Guess it flies by when you're in love and seeing stars.

On that note, I will leave you with one of my favorite lullabies. Some of you may find it a bit of an odd choice for a lullabye, but I have always liked how it reads as though it were this beautiful love letter to a child :)

America The Beautiful

By, Katharine Lee Bates

O beautiful for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America!

God shed His grace on thee,

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet

Whose stern impassion'd stress

A thoroughfare for freedom beat

Across the wilderness.

America! America!

God mend thine ev'ry flaw,

Confirm thy soul in self-control,

Thy liberty in law.

O beautiful for heroes prov'd

In liberating strife,

Who more than self their country lov'd,

And mercy more than life.

America! America!

May God thy gold refine

Till all success be nobleness,

And ev'ry gain divine.

O beautiful for patriot dream

That sees beyond the years

Thine alabaster cities gleam

Undimmed by human tears.

America! America!

God shed His grace on thee,

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea.

Beginning the World Again

2011-09-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

The best things in life spin, make noise, show our reflection, and apparently, come apart.

Not pictured here is the look on my face after he handed me the drawer handle and screw while saying, "good, good boy".

"Every child begins the world again"

-Henry David Thoreau

And so, we begin again, humbled and vastly unprepared new parents, as usual :) I have this sinking feeling that one day soon, BAH and I will wake up to find our computer dismantled or the cupboards taken off of the hinges. Perhaps the best childproofing for Baby H is distraction? He is one focused little guy when he's figuring something out and totally and completely fun to watch. I think that we may actually be addicted to watching him.

What fun you are, my son. Please don't be too much smarter than your Dad and I...we can put drawer handles back together but any more than that and you'll have to buy us some really good repair manuals.

No Regrets, San Diego: The Countdown Begins

2011-09-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

image credit: world tour usa

It is official! We will be saying goodbye to San Diego, CA in 3 months. I have lived here for 9 years, during which a lifetime of changes have occurred (some welcomed, some met with extreme opposition). All have been for the very best. Through these changes, I have learned that 100% of the time, God places true-life angels in my path when they are needed most. San Diego is full of them. I would like to be able to say, without a doubt, that I lived each moment here to its fullest, worked diligently, wasted not, wanted not, and loved hard. In pondering whether or not I truly lived this way in the last 9 years, I started a list. It was fun, so I decided to start 2 lists. Then 3...

The bottom line is, I still have 3 months to complete my "Things I did not do, with Regrets" list, and I have 3 months to re-do everything on my "Things I did that Rocked" list....

Things I did not do, 100% no regrets:
surf
Sea World
Legoland
party in Mexico
get plastic surgery in La Jolla
stop using my blinker while driving
set up a tent on any asphalt surface and call it camping
get to a picnic spot in a gross park at 0530 to reserve the spot
run the Rock & Roll marathon with 80 million people
go 4x4ing on the dunes
go clubbing in the Gaslamp District
become a cyclist
get a small white dog or a Chihuahua
get a tropical bird of some sort
put those stickers on my car that represent my family or neighborhood
collect shells
go clubbing in PB
drive drunk
jaywalk
talk to myself on a street corner while totally sober

Things I did not do, with regrets:
learn to speak Spanish
windsurf
enough charity
go to the Del Mar Fair
go to the nude beach when it was still the nude beach
join a community garden
go to all the used book stores
plant an herb garden
go to cooking classes
go birdwatching for fun enough times (outside of job)
take a painting class
join a church or go to church more than 5 times
run the Big Sur marathon
wear enough sunscreen
see enough sunsets at Sunset Cliffs
see enough sunsets at the beach while running barefoot
take a desert survival field course
learn to make my own Kombucha
learn to brew my own beer
forgive enough people, enough times

Things I did that Rocked:
camped in the Anza Borrego Desert
learned about desert flora & fauna
became a botanist
worked for a private biological consulting firm with awesome people
volunteered for the Natural History Museum with awesome people
learned about bugs
learned a few things about local geology from really smart people
learned my seabirds and waterfowl
met and partied with the most amazing group of friends I've ever known
discovered Sam the Cooking Guy & became a wannabe non-pretentious foodie
ran on the beach
ran on local trails
ran in local races
joined eHarmony and met my awesome Husband
quit a job that I loved to do a job that I love even more
have a baby
develop an obsession for salsa and jalapenos
develop an obsession for barefoot running
visited the Wild Animal Park
go to Humboldt county and run beneath the redwoods
invest in good polarized sunglasses
wear long sleeve tee shirts
watch a lot of breath-taking sunrises
discover yoga, which changed my life and my views on healing
discover Kombucha
started this blog :)

A Change of Season

2011-09-01T04:42:00.000-07:00

Welcome September! This is my favorite month of the year in San Diego because it still feels like summer, but the tourist season ends so no more crowded beaches or urban running trails. Seaport Village once again becomes a good spot to hang out on the grass after a good stair workout at the Convention Center. Penasquitos Canyon wildlife starts reappearing for lack of fear that they will be run over by crazy mountain bikers. I am set to try, for the first time ever, canning my own pickles. Mom claims that her secret recipe is just garlic cloves, dill flowers, and peppercorns. I have this theory that there is some special flavor that also comes from 30 years of food preserving experience...but that is just me :)

Baby H and I decided to kick things off by making some cinnamon-rich, organic baby applesauce. He loves sitting in his highchair and watching me put stuff in the food processor. I usually give him his own cooking utensils and let him push buttons. I want this little man to grow up feeling totally comfortable and safe in the kitchen!

We said goodbye to summer by celebrating Baby H's 9 month birthday, BAH not being on deployment for the first time in 3 years during the month of September, and going to our favorite sushi place in Hillcrest. Baby H's reach has become so fast and so far that we spend equal time eating as catching glasses, grabbing soy sauce, chopsticks, and wasabi from his hands, but he has fun. He always seems the most content and happy when BAH and I are together, no matter what we are doing.

Future chef? UFC Champion? Librarian? We will love you no matter who you are. We will love every season of you.

"It is fun to sing
if you sing with a Ying.
My Ying can sing
like anything.
I sing high
and my Ying sings low,
and we are not too bad,
you know."
-Dr. Suess

Our Ying has found his voice...Pods of whales everywhere can attest to this.

We've signed up for Gymboree. At 9 months, Baby H is getting extremely sociable, and although this Momma has done her best to make sure he gets out and about and has play dates, it just doesn't seem to be cutting it lately. The real sign we needed something more was when BAH recycled Baby H's best friend...the kid on this cardboard box from ~~our~~ his basketball hoop. They had a lot of good times...but it was time for this little Ying to say goodbye :)

You know fall is coming when I attempt to get crafty. Some of you know I am an avid crocheter, and I love to cook (eat), write, and look for plants and birds and bugs and wild things...But being crafty, or at least what I have always considered crafty, is not my first language. I was pleased as punch at my little dry erase board. Just took an 11x16 frame I had laying around, put some of my pretty leftover wedding paper in it, super-glued an Expo pen on the frame, and wah-la! A super awesome message board. I am pretty sure I saw this in Real Simple at some point while preggo...

Not my image! But certainly my inspiration for a new story...Was just going to jot down a few notes, but I now have half of a journal written. The real inspiration was the horribly tragic story of the 11-year old gal who went missing in the small New Hampshire town not long ago. My story starts out as a thriller/horror story, but will have a feel-good ending (hopefully).

Happy Autumn!!

Friday Morning Coffee

2011-08-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend I will be surrounded by boys, words, hugs, and bugs.

These are the things I am pondering over Friday morning coffee:

As the weekend approaches, I wish all of my East Coast loves a warm and safe retreat. You are in our prayers and may you be content to stay there a while. I wish I could come and scoop you all up and bring you back to the West Side where business casual means flip-flops and jeans, for some mango salsa and margaritas!

One of my pieces of fiction currently in the works is a story based on the experiences of my siblings and me. I've had a hard time placing this one. It has some elements of fantasy/horror and history. Kind of Stand By Me + Goonies + Blair Witch Project. It is meant for adults and is told from the point of view of a man looking back on "what really happened". Why do I write better as a man? Why am I not disturbed by this in the least? Even my female protagonists are thought to be men, at first, by many readers (reviewers in my critique group, reviewers in my conference, my parents...).

Date night! Tonight is date night #2/2 this month. We are excited because a new fancy pancy hip sushi joint went in within walking distance of our house. Hopefully we are awake enough to make it and our joke about "just taking a nap" won't turn into reality. BAH and I have not slept in about 4 days due to Baby H having an ear infection/getting his sleep schedule confused/getting better and deciding to flip and flop all over in his crib like a fish out of water. Yesterday he woke up at 0345 wanting to play with his new activity table...we were so elated over the fact that he was feeling better that we just shook our heads, made a big pot of coffee, and played with him...Not tonight, little Dude. You are fired! xoxo :)

Running (yeay!). My pelvic floor has never been so strong...Bring it. The goal: One hour strong and fast. To be well-hydrated and surrounded by nothing but ocean and sand.

A Very Average, Step-by-Step Guide to Running Post Cesarean Delivery

2011-08-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

My son came into our world in an unplanned Cesarean section delivery 9 months ago. I believe that I have finally designed the perfect workout guide for post-Cesarean section birth runners looking to do more than just finish their race. This guidebook will not be one of those “how to get your body back”-“how to get your flat tummy back”-“how to have the most energy with your nutrition for getting your body back” guides. I am not a personal trainer, a doctor, or a health-nut (sorry, too many good craft breweries and pizza parlors in the world).

I am just a very average woman who became fed up without giving up!

This will be a specific, step-by-step guide that offers:

1) insight into the little aches and pains you may feel - What they are and how to get rid of them;

2) resources and discussion on pain management specific to post c-section delivery running;

3) diagrammatic illustrations outlining the pelvic floor and how it relates to running and the rest of your body (and why it matters); &

4) a realistic time frame with a template for a schedule that you create based on your available time (and baby's schedule)

My book will exist because I could not find what I was looking for when I needed it.

Part of the reason? I was not exactly sure what I was looking for because I could not initially pinpoint my problem. However, after countless slow-as-molasses miles and sore, sometimes painful crotchal region (later I found out this is called the pelvic floor), I believe that I finally was able to recognize the problem(s) and therefore craft and build a very effective workout that both eliminated the pain and shaved off minutes.

If you are reading this and you are one of those amazing women who had a c-section and got right back to where you were in your running with no problems, I commend and adore you and wish I had known you and your wisdom at that time. Feel free to contact me with your experience, and I will gladly incorporate it into this book! For that matter, I welcome any and all first-hand, real experience and advice from other women on the topic.

I have a skeletal plan and pile of notes and images sitting on my hard drive, waiting to be hammered and drilled and stuffed and painted until the day they actually become something useful to someone. But if you find yourself in a similar situation prior to 2020, let me know! We can chat over woodfired pizzas and beers or rootbeers.

The Original, Original Intent

2011-08-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

coffee mug handcrafted from cobblestone clay works.

Writers in particular can be so hard on themselves for time wasting and can become almost obsessed with time management during the rest times. I am not saying this is bad, necessarily, just that it is not always conducive to how our brains create or revise previous creations. This author, in particular, is at times guilty of managing time and self into a circle/corner/vacuum/place that lacks oxygen :)

Image photographed from my copy of Mary Engelbreit's Mother Goose 100 Best-Loved Verses

Though I do not collect her artwork or her whimsy, I have a deep respect for Mary Engelbreit. For many, she exists on thank-you cards and Christmas ornaments and calendars, but for me, she exists as an inspiration and as a teacher to artists and writers and entrepreneurs. It just so happens that I follow and love her blog, in which she sometimes shares what she is working on, and many times opens up about what she is not working on. It is the latter of the 2 that I find most directional in my own endeavors. One of my sweetheart friends recently sent me (actually it was meant for Baby H) a book of ME illustrated nursery rhymes.

Her recent post put a smile on my face because it was in reference to artists "wasting" time, her very point being that there really is no such thing if you are doing it creatively :)

Image photographed from my copy of Mary Engelbreit's Mother Goose 100 Best-Loved Verses

If something like this is the result of someone who "wastes her time", maybe we should all strive to wander more frequently?

Prior to and while pregnant, I worked so diligently on my author's website, which had a display of "sketches". My original intent was to have works in progress, stuff that inspired my writing whether it be art, quotes, poetry, other writers, etc., and character sketches. The original, original intent was to have more of this than actual pieces displayed. While I love the process of creating/analyzing/building a project, keeping track of it is much easier if I can see it; thus the reason behind the OOI (original, original intent).

The bottom line is that after next week's writer's conference, I think I am going to focus (for a while) on wasting some time.

The World Needs More of You

2011-08-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

Nice people of the world, whether you be freeway drivers, spouses, or folks looking for lovers: Never stop being The Nice Guy.

Mom and Nephew #1

We have been overflowingly blessed with visits to and from our families this summer, and we just said goodbye to my Mom and Nephew #1, who were here taking care of Nephew #3 while the Curly Blonde and Brother #1 were on holiday in Norway. BAH and I got to spend quality time with Nephew #1, which included introducing him to the ORIGINAL Karate Kid, teaching him how to play badminton as well as BAH getting kicked out of bed a few nights to accommodate one scared-of-the-dark 6-year old :)

Nephew #1 reading to Baby H

One afternoon, as I was driving Baby H and Nephew #1 to our favorite beach park, I pulled out of our neighborhood and onto the main drag of our awesome little corner of San Diego, on our way to the beach freeways. At that moment, something quite strange occurred: The sharp-looking young man driving in front of us in a brand-new BMW (which was by the way, completely pimped out for street racing)

1. politely waved and let in a city bus while maintaining his speed and not texting and driving;

2. used his blinker at every turn while staying in his own lane and not texting and driving;

3. waved graciously at a car who let him in to a merge on the freeway, while using his blinker and not texting and driving.

Not a stalker.

I wanted to chase this poor guy down, wave to him on the freeway, and totally stalk him so that I could tell him what a wonderful, courteous, non-idiotic human being he was. I refrained; don't worry. I am sure it would have freaked the guy out, been slightly crazy, and even perhaps slightly illegal :) But you get it. And if you get it, then you also understand that the sad part about this is the rarity of such events.

BAH and Baby H at swim lessons

I'll probably embarrass him, but I have to say that my Badass Husband is one of those guys: The Nice Guy. Two years of marriage isn't long, but it is long enough to see how a person treats the people around him, including his wife. What I have learned in 2 years is that the I-never-thought-you-existed, best-kept-secret-of-a-human-being, genuinely nice guy is STILL that guy. When we are 65, I am definitely going to give him a ride on the back of my Harley and tattoo his initials on my chest :)

BAH: Slightly concerned about wife riding Harley at 65.

As I drove on, slightly saddened by my decision not to stalk this poor, sweet human being who never even knew he had a potential and crazy stalker with 2 kids playing with toys in the backseat that morning, I thought about all of the other good peeps out there worthy of true stalkage. You don't get nearly enough credit, though you may find yourself with a slightly gangsta wife one day...

BAH and future gangsta wife in 2008

Thank you.

The Art of Losing

2011-08-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

July 2011 Dining Out.

It's a page-turner, I tell you. The story of the past three weeks has been filled with the usual (unusual) summer adventures of my sweet and new little family. Among other things, we recently took an impromptu road trip up to Washington to hang out with our families and welcome Nephew #5 to the world.

One morning during this visit, my Dad and I were standing by the coffee pot (because we are always up before everyone else in the house), and he was asking me what my new world was like as a mom and a wife about to embark upon the next several years of life and all of its wonderful changes. I described to him, in the wee hours of the morning, how sometimes, in my bliss of kisses and truck noises and songs about farm animals and long talks about where we will be moving and future deployments and potty training and kindergarten and possible chopper #2...I wonder if I will ever get back to the things I used to do and think about so passionately and so vividly. I wonder if I will lose myself.

Lose yourself, my Dad said as he smiled at me. Well I certainly hope so! Because to lose yourself, to truly and completely lose everything in love and in sacrifice, is to know what life is all about. It is to LIVE.

What an amazing moment that was between my Dad and I because I don't even think he knew how much I needed to hear this at that very moment. The thing is, I don't know if everyone needs to learn that lesson :) haha. I honestly believe that there are plenty of folks out there who do just fine figuring out the meaning of their life without loss. I laugh as I write this because I now know what my Dad knows: I am not one of those people :) Neither was he...

I love this poem and wanted to share it now because I have always interpreted it as her talking about losing a friendship or a lover. Now I read it and wonder if she was talking about losing herself. It also just occurred to me that she means the words "art" and "disaster" synonymously.

May you find what you are supposed to be losing!

<><><>

One Art

by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant 
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Summer Tradition #2: Coronado Independence Day 15K

2011-07-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

Summer is in full swing, and we are enjoying every ray of sunshine we can catch! I hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend and that most of you got to enjoy a nice, long, 4-day weekend, either celebrating with friends and family or if you were flying solo this year, out running on a trail somewhere in the deep, cool forest.

We had the pleasure of having Brother #3 and LTG (although now that they are officially engaged, we'll have to think of a new name for her other than Long Time Girlfriend) down here for almost a week-long party with them and Brother #1, The Curly Blonde, and their 1-year old son, Nephew #3, who live near BAH and I here in San Diego. We definitely made it count and who knows when we will all be together like that again, so I am so very glad we all got the quality time together. We are all head-over-heels in love with LTG and are so happy she will be an official part of the family soon.

Brother #1 and I ran the Coronado Independence Day 15K bright and early Monday morning, and while Brother #1 did awesome, I had my slowest 15K time ever, even more slow than my first 15K while recuperating from a plane crash 10 years ago. More on that later...But let's just say that when I consulted my running partner (Baby H) on the issue, he reminded me that while he loved the constant attention and partied hard all week long despite the fact that he cut 3 teeth all at once, we really needed to get back on track with our training this week. I agreed.

My next Finish Line is an off-road half marathon in September. We've got some work to do and will be consulting with all of you running geniuses out there over the next month or so, especially you running mommas. In the mean time, I hope you are all making the most of the time you have either checking off or creating your own summer traditions.

Summer Tradition #1: Low Tide Ride and Stride

2011-06-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

The Low Tide Ride and Stride is an annual San Diego summer tradition, and this year we were joined by none other than Nephew #3! Brother #1 and The Curly Blonde ran while taking turns pushing him for 8.2 miles in the sand. Even at low tide, this is insanity. Super Stars!

Nephew #3 is almost 1-year old! I can't believe how fast time flies. While we won't be here next summer to see him turn 2, at the rate this kid is going, I expect that he will be running the 2012 LTRS on his own by that time. It trips me out because he has his Momma's EXACT smile and his Daddy's sense of humor, yet he is definitely his own little person already. Love, love, love this boy!

A beautiful start to our early-morning beach run! We could not have wished for better weather with sunbreaks and balmy breezes as the tide pulled out.

The Low Tide Ride and Stride course goes from Imperial Beach, up the Silver Strand Beach, past the SEAL training beach, to Sunset Park in Coronado. Proceeds this year went to the Wounded Warrior foundation.

View of Point Loma from Imperial Beach

Taking my sweet time...I had to high-tail it up across the sand dunes to the SEAL tower in order to find a bathroom at mile 3.5. It was worth it, but it definitely did not look as far as it actually was from this view :) My ONLY crit of the LTRS (no bathrooms on course)...I am usually one of those terrible, awful runners who will literally just go wherever (much to the dismay of my poor Husband), but even this setting was a little too public.

BAH was able to snap this awesome shot of The Curly Blonde, Brother #1, and Nephew #3 coming across the finish line!

My big baby! Best finish line treat EVER and effective inspiration and training partner. A big thank-you to my amazing and Badass Husband for spending Father's Day morning at the first of many family finish lines :) I love my boys...

Sun-Ripened Growth

2011-06-16T20:02:00.000-07:00


Baby H is teething and over the past week has gone from being shrieking, squealing, laughing, daytime party-animal to Mr. Crabby Patty. We think he's also going through a major growth spurt now, and gone are the glorious days of him sleeping through the night, which he has done since 11 weeks.

One thing that always puts a smile on his sweet little face is being outside, so we've been spending quite a bit of time there. He is a great training buddy. Please note that we don't typically let him drive, regardless of how happy he is in the driver's seat :) I am sure that day will be here before we are ready.

At 22 lbs, he has become a bit heavy for me to carry in the Bjiorn, so we've graduated to a backpack carrier. After yesterday's hour-long sherpa hike along the beach, the most running miles logged in a week in a year and a half, and 2 weeks in a row of blechy sleep, this Momma decided that instead of a workout, we should replant some basil. Baby H decided to lend a helping hand.

Baby H strongly suggested that we plant the mild, sweet variety seeds a few weeks ago, so I heeded his advice.

The nice thing about using this variety if you are a basil fan, is the versatility of being able to use this herb for everything from pesto to strawberry-basil ice cream to tea. It is a very effective calmative and carmative. It grows well in San Diego.

As with all aromatic herbs, Baby H could not resist crushing and smelling the fresh, sun-ripened leaves.

He thought the soil was a little on the dry side, so we added some water...

In the end, Baby H gave the day's events a solid half-smile. He rallied despite swollen, white, bumpy little drooler gums and the 20 minute break we had to take so Mom could look at a bee...I owe this boy a serious run in the jogging stroller tomorrow morning :)

My Post Run Favorite

2011-06-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

My favorite after-running food is the sandwich. A truly perfect invention, and much like other truly perfect inventions (e.g. the jean jacket, the telephone, the refrigerator, the written language, and toothpaste), it just keeps getting better with time. In fact, prior to my wedding day, I sent my Mom and Sister a spreadsheet of the schedule for the day. In bold, at 1100, were the words “eat sandwich”.

I never lived that down, but the brilliance and simplicity of this true comfort food will never be outdone by a low-carb wrap, lettuce instead of bread, or the infamous “no bread”, and diabetics and chronic dieters deserve serious props for their ability to think outside the box when it comes to the sandwich. However, no such props are or will ever be given to the inventor of Miracle Whip, rice bread, soy cheese, or ultra-light beer. To you folks, I would say, you should have stayed inside the box.

My top 3 favorites include tuna, turkey, cranberry & cream cheese, and BLT, although a good ham and swiss with mayo and mustard thinly spread to the edge of the bread and the ham and swiss thinly sliced with a few bits of vine-ripened Roma tomatoes in between deserves at least an honorable mention, as does the classic, pb&j, so long as it’s crunchy Jiff and my Mom’s homemade strawberry freezer jam and homemade white bread, toasted…

The new fave for summer 2011 might just be the pulled pork slider (with coleslaw). Is a slider a sandwich? Does barbeque put the pulled pork slider into a new category altogether? Perhaps I’ll never know (or care). The fact that I still own the same jean jacket I bought in 1999 should probably be a bigger concern for this post-run sandwich connoisseur.

Checklist of Celebration: San Diego Summer #9

2011-06-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Photo from the Manchester Museum

I have underbelly-of-a-frog-see-through-white skin. We went to an outdoor wedding last weekend. I wore a sleeveless, scoopneck dress. I did not wear sunscreen. Why? Why do I do it? Because I love being so sunburned that I can't wear a bra? Because I want skin cancer? Because I love feeling the heat from my baking, irradiated skin through my clothes 3 days later? Nope. It's because I love blisters. And peeling. And what else do you ever use that big, dusty bottle of Aloe vera gel for anyway?

San Diego sunshine: I welcome what will be my 9th summer with you. As usual, your wildness humbles and surprises me.

The Curly Blonde and I have spent many a San Diego Saturday summer afternoon by the pool in celebration of the completed long run. Now we are both mommas, and we celebrate making it out the door to run any distance :)

In celebration of my last glorious San Diego summer, here is my SD summer checklist, in no particular order:

awesome podcasts from Scientific American such as this one on new species discovered in 2010

popsicles such as these amazing homemade watermelon strawberry yogurt ones

power breakfasts to fuel the beach runs and hot days where you probably won't eat much else besides chips and salsa

15K and half-marathon training schedule

baby boy (new, for 2011!)

swim diaper for baby boy

new running shoes, which I hate. Oh yes, I said hate. BAH makes me buy new running shoes. He's somewhat of a new running shoes stickler, and my hips love him for it.

lyrics to every song in the sound of music with the possibility of one day converting my Sound of Music VHS tape to an actual 2011 DVD

sunscreen :)

chips and salsa

my lover (new, for 2011!)

Almost all of our photos are from fall and winter...that is about to change!

beach office, including the Sun Dome for baby boy

new story projects/deadlines and one fabulous writers conference!

Found this image via the web years ago. I think of it when I work to overcome my fear of committing an ending to my stories. Sometimes, I have a little trouble letting a piece go :)

welcome baskets and list of fun for family coming to visit

new recipes from Bobby Flay and Sam the Cooking Guy

Coronas with lemon

outdoor dishes for fabulous PARTAYS!

a spirit of carpe diem and of thankfulness

Kisses to Welcome Home and Welcome Summer!

2011-05-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Baby H showered his Daddy with welcome-home kisses after seeing BAH for the first time in a month. I think we were both taken aback by the obvious display of emotion and affection shown by our 6-month old in this case. It was very moving and definitely brought tears to this Momma's eyes :) I was so blown away that I forgot about my camera until the last bit of the makeout session. We were all hugging for a few moments before I think Baby H knew what was going on. As soon as my husband started talking, Baby H just looked at him with this huge smile, grabbed his face in both of this little hands, and started kissing his Daddy all over. It didn't stop on the pier. When we got home, Baby H just kept looking from me to BAH and laughing and smiling. Our very regimented baby refused to take his naps, eat, or do anything except be held by his Dad. By the end of the night, he had one hand on each of us and could barely keep his eyes open. He was exhausted. The next day, it was pretty much the same thing, all over again, and by the third day, he was back to his normal routine.

Definitely a sweet and memorable first for all of us!

This was the first time Baby H and I were alone for a solid length of time because before we were living with my parents. I thought that by the time BAH returned, I would be freaking out and just "wanting to get away". I was pleasantly surprised to find that instead, I felt like I got wonderful quality time with my son. I loved every moment with him, and he was such a good boy for his Momma!

Many thanks to my awesome girlfriends, brothers, and parents for your unending support during this time. You all are gems in my heart.

BAH and I are looking forward to our first real summer together, ever! I told him the other day that he has never really met the summer version of his wife because even though we had the first part of last summer before he deployed last year, I was pukey-go-to-bed-at-7:30pm-preggo. Yeay for being able to eat basil, tomatoes, meat, garlic, wine, coffee, and for looking forward to going to the grocery store!!

San Diego summer, we are ready for you.

Was Dr. Seuss a Runner?

2011-05-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

Part of my 15K training plan includes running, and most days, Baby H and I are able to make it out the door for a glorious jog along one of our favorite paved pathways. We meet a lot of other moms and dads jogging with their kids. We meet fast and slow walkers, serious runners, college kids running with their pants folded so low that you can see the crack, people running alone, people running in deep conversation with one another, people running in large packs, and some people who are not moving at all.

One day, a guy rode up next to us on his bike as we were running. He looked at me and yelled, "I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MICK JAGGER, AREN'T YOU?!" I nodded my head in agreement, although, truth be told, I can't remember the last time I heard about Mick Jagger. He seemed pleased with this as he smiled and waved, riding away into the bushes.

Another day, a group of high school girls got off of the bus as Baby H and I were getting ready for our long run (of 40 minutes). As I was putting Baby H into the stroller, the gaggle of giggling girls walked towards us on their way to the beach. The leader of these girls then yells, "I LIKE YOUR BABY. IT'S CUTE!" "Thank you," I replied. As I was finishing strapping him in, I thought to myself, It is awfully cute.

Yesterday, a fully clothed woman ran past us on the pathway. I'd seen her several times before and nodded and smiled. She turned to me and said, "I hope I can find the energy and the willpower to still run after I have a baby. I can barely find it within me to run now, and it's just me." "You will," I said. That was sweet of her, I thought.

I decided to stop and stretch on the grass, under Baby H's favorite tree (he squeals and talks to it). A young couple lay on a big blanket on the other side of the tree, making out. Baby H had fallen asleep, and I contemplated the concepts of energy and willpower as applied to shaving my legs. It could happen.

Words of Love for a Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Favorite boys.

I read everything. Besides reading old cookbooks and scientific papers, I enjoy compilations of short fiction, essays, and poetry. As a new mom, I feel like I am still getting some quality, comprehensive, brain-enriching reading time in with these, not to mention the fact that I love writing short fiction, essays, and poetry, so they ultimately help me become better at something I love. When the day comes that I have more time to get through actual books again, I will devour every Dennis Lehane, Tim Egan, and Bryce Courtenay book ever written. (that I have not read). I will study the fascinating writings of John Steinbeck and Theodore Roosevelt and underline the revelations of Condoleeza Rice from her new memoir. I will study Native American Ethnobotany and Spiders of the World. beyond the Introductions :)

One of my current, fun reads is a compilation of personal and theological essays inspired by the Book of Proverbs, written by a pastor by the name of Warren Baldwin. I like this book because it is written the way a man would talk to his friend. It is not a bunch of judgmental, overly-religious, soapbox dialogue, but it is flawlessly referenced and character driven. The character I speak of is that of humanity. As I read through this, I become more and more impressed by this author, who, as a religious and educated man, I am sure it was hard writing this and not sounding judgmental or getting on a soapbox from time to time! But, that is not what applying the Book of Proverbs to your life is all about. I was recently moved by a chapter in his book, Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks, and Other Gems from Proverbs, on the power of words. This particular essay was inspired by the scripture, "The tongue has the power of life and death" from Proverbs 18:21. With permission granted by this author, I wanted to share some of my favorite words from his book. In my opinion, these are some of the most applicable words I have ever heard on the subjects of motherhood, writing, running, and family. May you take them to your Finish Line:

"Words have power. People in tribal communities that believe in demons and spirits will prosper or die based on the words of their local holy man. Whether or not the spirit actually administers the death is immaterial. The fact that people believe in the words imbue them with the power to move and act. People live or die on the power of words. Jesus used words to grant life, offer hope, and open up new possibilities for meaning." [Warren Baldwin, Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks, p. 98]

I came home to this one day after my man and boy were spending some quality time together. Powerful words :)

Student of Awesomeness

2011-04-28T09:20:00.000-07:00

A refresher course of important life lessons have recently been brought to my attention by my 5.5 month old:

Be soft.

Try not to pee in your own eye.

Sing everything, every day.

If you roll over, you can surely roll back again.

Rocking chairs make everything better.

Those we love are easily trained with kisses.

“No” is not supposed to be funny.

At the same time, so has a crash course in surprises on how it is that:

A being so small can generate such strength, such pee, and such joy.

His fingernails are like claws regardless of how often I trim them, and mine look about like they did when I was working as a field biologist

He can make me laugh so much and shower so little.

He has the ability to get jokes and humor at such a young age, and I have become the World's biggest, silliest clown.

He emulates actions immediately after seeing them, and I pretty much never swear anymore as a result. Yes, that includes while driving!

Life lessons and surprises, as is usually the case, have led me to one of my many happy places: the kitchen. Deciding to make my own baby food was easy for the following reasons:

I love food.

I love to cook. The exceptions to this are I am sick, I am pregnant, or I am in someone else's kitchen, in which case I like to drink wine and watch them cook :)

It's easy.

It's cheap.

It's not as time-consuming as people think, if you already cook for yourself anyways.

I'm a control freak when it comes to knowing what my kid is putting in his mouth.

In order to have a shelf-life of 2 years, processed baby food has to be boiled twice. It's pretty much a filler and a great thing to have on-hand for camping trips and emergencies.

Have you recently had any refresher or crash courses in life? Where do they lead you? In any case, I hope it is somewhere warm and delicious and full of good energy :)

Fuel with Chocolate

2011-04-18T14:12:00.000-07:00

I don't do this every morning, but sometimes chocolate is a joyous way to welcome the day, whether you are training for a race, a walk with your dog, or you've had strep throat, are totally wiped out from your antibiotic regime, and you just want to take a trip to the mailbox. In addition, every Harry Potter nerd out there knows that chocolate is the best possible medicine after a run-in with Dementors :)

Oatmeal is an amazing superfood. It is good for your skin, inside and out. It lowers cholesterol and helps the body to eliminate uric acid. Recently, I read that it is also good for breastfeeding mothers because it helps keep up your milk supply. It is full of B vitamins (natures stress/anxiety medicine), and internally soothing for those of us with IBS. Finally, it is loaded with delightful carbohydrates, which your brain needs to function and your body uses to burn fat.

Oatmeal + chocolate is just a result of keeping my bag of chocolate chips next to the raisins and almonds in the cupboard. Chocolate by association.

Chocolate Trail Mix Oatmeal
1/2 c whole oats
1 c water
1/4 c raisins
1/4 c whole unsalted almonds
1/8 c chocolate chips or chunks
Bring water to boil. Add oats and reduce heat to medium. Cook to desired consistency & texture. Remove from heat. Put in bowl. Add raisins, almonds, and chocolate chips.

Some people like to make their oats with milk, which is very tasty and hearty. I've always made mine with water as old habits die hard. Of course, chopped, lightly toasted almonds are delicious in this if you have the time. I am not a huge coconut person, but I imagine that would also be delicious in this. The truth is, a lot of things would probably be good in this, but I have this weirdness with mixing too many foods together at once, especially for breakfast.

Another breakfast favorite is chocolate banana yogurt. Banana with chocolate is a habit I picked up while pregnant and have not been able to shake. I'll admit, this one is better as a post-workout breakfast just because it's basically a glycemic injection without a complex carbohydrate source.

Chocolate Banana Yogurt
1/2 c plain yogurt (I like the soury taste of plain but vanilla is yummy too)
1/2 banana, sliced
1/8 c chocolate chips or a tsp of baking powder
Mix all delicious ingredients together! Yum.

Perhaps your fuel of choice does not include chocolate? Maybe you are sweet enough already? In any case, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so whether you inhale it in the car on your way to work or nibble at it over the morning paper, fuel wisely, and have a great Easter week!

Secrets to a Perfect Jogging Stroller Run

2011-04-13T15:31:00.000-07:00

Number of hours spent at Baby H's first Padres game: 1.5. Number of hotdogs consumed: One. Number of beers consumed: None. Number of kisses given: at least 12 per inning.

It may be a few years before he is the ideal baseball game companion, but this baby boy is turning out to be a pretty good jogging partner.

Upon finally figuring out the secrets to a perfect jogging stroller run, my elated brain decided it would be a good idea to sign up for my first post-baby 15K in July. As the days passed, I found that I could run for 30-minute stretches without my hamstrings and hips burning (and eventually tuckering out), and my confidence grew. Thing is, so did my desire to run it without Baby H. I think his current jogging stroller limit is up to just over 60 minutes. He loves being outside, and I am sure by July, could hang for the full 80 million hours it is actually going to take me to run the thing. But why? BAH is going to be here. Brother #3 and LTG are going to be here (and are running as well). More realistic is a 5K option for Baby H's first race, so this Momma has decided to leave her chubbo baby behind for this one and focus on having fun with him while training. I can't wait to see him and his Daddy at the finish line this year!

What are the secrets to the perfect jogging stroller run?

The truth is that there is no secret. You will figure out what works for your stroller on the terrain and climate you are dealt. But here is what Baby H and I have figured out for running on a flat course in the perfect climate (yeay, San Diego!):

Treat your jogging stroller like a bicycle. Check tires, hand brakes (if applicable), straps, foot brakes, and baby harness prior to your run. Probably not a bad idea to carry a tire patch kit, if applicable (it is on the Jeep Overland Limited model).
Bring water, even for a 20 minute run, especially if you have taken a very long preggo-post-baby hiatus. It's basically like beginning running all over again with a totally different body, especially if you're breastfeeding.
When running one-handed, keep your stroller hand in the center of the bar. Don't leave it on whatever side it would be on if you were using two hands. Why would anyone do that? I don't know, but I did it for a while, and it made steering really hard :)
Keep your elbows and arms extremely loose! Make sure they are bent, and you are leaning over your stroller. You won't trip on it, I promise. This saves a ton of energy.
Carry some old towels with you in the car in case you want to wipe it off or put it next to something you don't want to get grimy or muddy (if there is mud).

Just remember, the more you do it, the more you will figure out that often times, the real accomplishment is just getting out the door :)

The Forecast Calls for a Generation of Overly-Protected Children

2011-04-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

Getting ready to brave a walk with the possibility of rain AND wind in the forecast. At 4.5 months, Baby H sees the Bjiorn and waves his arms and legs, laughing in excitement.

“Don't even think about going on a hike if your baby is under 1 month. Babies this age are just too young to be exposed to the sun, the possibility of bad weather, and the jostling that comes from walking on rough terrain…An infant [described in this article as “1-5 month olds”], especially one not used to the confinement of a front carrier, will last no more than 20 minutes. Older babies may make it up to an hour before the cranky, hungry, and wet diaper factors set in.” (source: Babycenter.com)

I have recently heard that it is either “too cold, too hot, or too sunny to walk with a baby”, and then I come across this garbage. How sad and disappointed I feel knowing that there are so many people out there subscribing to this information.

What is jostling, exactly? Does that encompass any movement? Does walking “jostle” an infant? Where is the proof, in the existence of our species, that we should not be “exposed to the sun” until we are one month old? What is “bad weather”? Would that also include the stagnant, cesspool air of a daycare center? And what does this author mean, "the confinement of a front carrier"? Versus the confinement of being locked in the house all day or worse, in a stroller??

Maybe Baby H is unique, but he's been taking jostling, confining walks in bad weather since he was 5 days old. These types of articles are designed, whether intentional or not, to get new moms and dads to abandon their amazingly wonderful instincts for fear and anxiety. It makes me sick knowing that so many kids will not feel the sun on a warm day or the feel the nip of a cold wind or smell the rain until they are probably well into school-age.

From Where Do You Draw Your Inspiration?

2011-03-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

The-not-so-Curly Blonde and I enjoying a pre-dinner cocktail while Brother #1 basted the Thanksgiving turkey (2007).

I like eating, drinking, and smoking. I love processed meats and dark, frothy ales as well as the smell of tobacco and the sound a lighter makes after a glass of wine in the midst of a happy party or an intimate conversation. I also love cooking healthy meals from scratch, getting up with a clear head at the crack of dawn to run 10 miles, and shouting above a big family with a resonating voice and big lungs. Moreover, I love my son.

What is moderation? What does it mean to be moderate? I think it means that you can’t draw your inspiration from guilt. You can’t live your life feeling sorry for yourself or others, and you can’t expect to change anything by living in a chronic state of justification of your actions.

Lily Wallace would probably tell me to include more healthy fats in my diet and eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. She would throw her hands up in the air and shake her head at the half-eaten box of Girl Scout shortbreads laying in front of my computer and stacks of edit piles without realistic due dates behind them. I am guessing she was my age in the 1920’s, so she would probably offer me a cigarette to go with my sherry as we conversed. And while I have not smoked a cigarette since about a year before I found out I was preggo, I would not hesitate :)

All I know of Ms. Wallace, the author of my antique cookbook, is that she came to the United States in 1900 from England. She was a specialist in home economics and wrote several books on matters of cooking, food, and the home, from approximately 1908 to 1947. Fascinating woman, though I really don’t know anything about her personal life or even when she died. One thing I do know about that era based on the cookbooks and recipes within them (mini snippets of history) is that the American way of life seemed SO much more moderate then compared to now.

I have to wonder, does living in (or not living in) moderation have anything to do with the source of where a person draws their inspiration for life?

I'm certainly no saint, but I grew up learning how to be driven by something other than the horrible cycle of guilt and binging. I now realize as an adult looking back on my childhood, is that this was due, in part, to my parents’ love not just of food, but of the land it comes from and of the people who cared enough to pass down the skills of creating something nourishing from scratch.

Welcome, Spring!

2011-03-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

On a brisk and blustery Sunday, Baby H and I welcomed Spring on her first official day by test-driving jogging stroller #2. It was not bad, though running with a jogging stroller is just weird. It feels like being on a treadmill and putting your hands on the rails as you run. It’s unnatural not to move your arms and it is challenging to get an effective “lean” in your form on a treadmill, just as it appears to be while running with a jogging stroller. Because of the forced form changes, running with a jogging stroller almost uses completely different muscles than running solo! That being said, it is not terrible. My will to run and be outside in whatever form life currently provides, exceeds any initial amount of whining this body ever does.

In addition, Baby H LOVES being outside. I have never witnessed something so instantly calming to his little baby countenance (besides nursing or being held by his Daddy) as when he is outside. Initially, my thoughts on this are that “he takes after his parents”, but aren’t all kids calmed by being outdoors? For that matter, aren’t all people, deep down? Who, in their heart of hearts, is not instantly calmed by a stroll on a windy beach; a hike through a forest on a warm, sunny day; or a fast slalom down a mountain of fresh powder in the heart of winter? Are we not all born with this need to dwell outside of our boxes?

Welcome, Spring! It is here we greet Our Maker with prayers of thanksgiving and renewal in our hearts. We raise our glass (or our mugs, in this case) in gratitude for giving us a place to have an impromptu picnic in the grass.

Loving Life in 1-Hour Increments

2011-03-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

Life with a 3-4 month old is best appreciated in 1-hour increments of time. Within that one hour, you have approximately 12 minutes of free time. Thus, if the new parent is not careful, time can slip by right before your very eyes like a plate of warm brownies or a cheap yet surprisingly good bottle of Oregon Pinot on a Sunday afternoon :) You must soak up every moment, every little smile, and every breath because the future is coming as sure as the seasons will change. We are doing our very best to live in this place, this home of NOW. And speaking of home...our little family has moved once more! The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of unpacking boxes and getting things organized as well as remembering to prioritize, relax, and steal random kisses from one another.

Baby H is GOOD at stealing kisses! He started doing this more frequently in the last couple of weeks, and he means business with those kisses. The trick is to hurry up and close your mouth (and try to stop laughing) when he does it, or he'll stick his little baby tongue right in there. He makes me laugh every day.

We don't go out to eat a lot these days, but we've recently recognized the need for planned fun :) It's like when you force a smile...9 times out of 10 it turns into a real smile. Not that planned fun is forced fun :) Getting over our fear of Baby H crying in public has been a biggie for both of us. He really doesn't cry that much unless it's nap time, and he loves sports pubs and any place we can sit outside. In this picture, he cannot take his eyes off of the SDSU-BYU game. The fact is, he loves most anything for exactly one hour, and we love him every second.

Cousins! Baby H Loves playmats, and he especially loves Nephew #3's sea-themed playmat. We think it's the octopus with the big eyes. He talks to pretty much anything with eyes. And while he is definitely moving away from being on his back, it is fun to see him so focused and alert when he plays. Nephew #3 is 5 months older than Baby H and very curious and aware of him. He knows how to touch him "soft" and pats his head when he is crying (Of course, I missed this sweet scene). Brother #1 and The Curly Blonde have been phenomenal, new-parent advice-givers and babysitters. The Force is definitely strong in those two. Also, I have decided Nephew #3 looks like a Who from Whoville...

I started reading to my baby when he was about 6 weeks old. At 9 weeks, I noticed he very attentively followed the pages, and at 12 weeks, he could reach out and turn the pages himself (with some assistance). At 15 weeks, he becomes obviously excited at certain pages and certain books, even seeming to remember the various interactive steps in some of them (like touching bears ears, drumming the snum (in this photo), and counting cockatoos). the last 2 child development books I thumbed through mentioned BEGINNING to read to your kid at 8 months! Who is coming up with this stuff?! Really?? I was pretty shocked at the fact that there are people out there having kids who would really not be reading to them by 8 months and would need a reminder. Literacy = Independence! Just my opinion, but seriously...8 months?? Isn't it the goal of every parent to raise a totally happy, independent and self-reliant, compassionate human being? How do you accomplish that if you don't teach them to appreciate reading? I feel like, if you aren't doing those things by 8 months, then it must not be a priority. And if it isn't a priority by the time your child has been in this world for 8 whole months, when will it be?

A minor rant! I know...Can you tell I am back to appreciating and enjoying my FULL morning mug of joy? :) My awesome Mom got me those glass mugs for my birthday this year. I had been salivating over hers all winter. They are perfect for coffee, tea, juice, shakes, and of course, the occasional, frothy Guinness (Extra Stout). The new casa sports this cute little built-in breakfast nook at the end of the kitchen. It's basically an L-shaped bar right as you walk through the door. Now that we can see the floor and actually have a picture hung up on the wall, we are excited to make use of this feature. Right now we kind of use it as a place to dump mail and plan our daily tasks.

BAH just unpacked the last of my cookbook collection this weekend, so I made him a yummy birthday cheesecake from my 1942 Lilly Wallace American Cookbook. I picked her up for $1 at a used book sale 12 years ago, and she follows me wherever I go. Though I am quite sure Lily would not approve of the fact that I have an entire pantry devoted to jars of bugs suspended in alcohol and petrified lizards or that I use butter instead of lard and microwave-steam my veggies, hopefully she would approve of my spin on her cheesecake :)

Baby H is better at test-driving jogging strollers than making cheesecake, and he also helped this momma discover the local community garden this last week. We are looking forward to making memories and adventures in our new neighborhood this spring and summer, and we hope you all are loving life in whatever increments time affords you.

Angels Among Us

2011-02-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

I may not be the most traditional woman out there, but I know that being happy is a true and powerful form of art, and in a traditional family, one that ultimately flows from the matriarch on down.

I was dreading the return to our home in San Diego after having been gone for 5 months. Anyone who has ever lived here knows why. It's the dust. Before I left, Brother #3 and Long-Time Girlfriend (LTG) helped me move all of our furniture to the center of the rooms and sheet everything. I knew after having been gone last year to Newport for 5 months, that such efforts would be futile, but I had to try. Aside from the normal levels of dust accumulation in this part of the country, our place underwent MAJOR construction in our absence. Not only did my sweet neighbors oversee all construction efforts, upon our return, they deep-cleaned our entire place, including scrubbing our sinks, bathtub, and toilet, washing all of our linens, and putting all of our furniture back. In addition to their amazing show of kindness, Brother #1 and The Curly Blonde put groceries in our fridge and left us sweet treats and a delicious black cherry candle (to create the happy home environment).

I cannot begin to articulate how touched I was by all of this. But that's not all...As only a true BFF would, The Curly Blonde gave me a good talkin' to right after we got home. She told me that I needed to go on a date with my Husband and let them babysit for an evening. She said that it would be important for the core of my family, my marriage. Now, as both my Sister-in-law and my best friend, The Curly Blonde wears 2 hats in my life. She is a classy and caring woman, and she put it to me this way: "Your marriage during the first months of a new baby is like an ultra-marathon through the Sahara in the summertime." She and my Brother are a very happily married couple, just as BAH and I are. We are all disgustingly in love :) So, I heeded her advice and not only went on a date with my very happy Husband but started giving some more thought to how I can both have this new little boy in my life (who completely has my whole heart in his little teeny hands) and also still be a friend to my Husband. It's weird to think that I suddenly have to put so much effort into a relationship that has always come so unbelievably easy with a man who is undoubtedly the sweetest (and most badass) man I have ever known.

This, my friends, is where your training comes in handy: All of our time spent in premarital counseling (even the ones where we rolled our eyes because we said there is no way we will ever go through THAT), all of our awesomely romantic dates, our intimate and awkward conversations, and our vulnerable moments. But aside from the "training" God has also put angels among us, mentors and friends and complete strangers placed perfectly and deliberately in our lives to help us along the way, people like our neighbors, my Sister-in-Law, and our parents, who have supplied meaningful and vivid anecdotes of what it really means to be in a marriage.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to share a few of my favorite blog-angels dedicated to the topic of marriage and family. May you find inspiration in their words, as I have. BAH and I both LOVE Making It Last Forever! Kim and Fred are hilarious, and their words are very real. We like how they provide the same story from both the perspective of a husband and of a wife. Warren Baldwin over at the Family Fountain has also provided many encouraging words. He is a pastor, author, husband, and father, not to mention a gifted writer. Sugarpie Farmhouse is a blog that I have enjoyed for quite a while now. I actually stumbled upon it a couple of years ago when I was looking for a recipe for old-fashioned buttermilk pie. I remember when I first read Aunt Ruthie's blog, I thought she was a bit on the eccentric side :) She is a wife and mom of a big, sweet family and a total girly-girl. But I love her zest for life and her ability to see and create joy in her life. We underestimate the power of joy, of sunshine, and of the senses.

May you all be vigilant enough to recognize your own life's angels when they appear, in whatever form that may be.

Homecoming

2011-02-16T09:48:00.000-08:00

My Son got to meet his Daddy for the first time last week, and my Badass Husband (BAH) in turn, got to lay his beautiful eyes on our sweet and chubby little boy. After a whirlwind of welcoming BAH home from a 7-month deployment, packing up and saying goodbye to our parents in the Pacific Northwest, and taking a roadtrip with a 2.5-month old, we are finally back home in San Diego! Everyone is adjusting, both to one another and to our new (old) environment. The sun has been smiling on all of our faces, and we have been smiling back :)

This Momma is in some serious need of sun! So, we have begun our daily walks again in the hopes of soaking it up. Baby H LOVES his front carrier and usually falls asleep in it. He has already made friends with the folks at our local coffee shop and a few other fellow walkers in the neighborhood. I have started back into a somewhat (attempted) regular workout program...The lofty goal is to be in half-marathon shape by this coming August. Six months. I think with the help of the sun, my BAH, and a lot of recipes involving lean ground turkey, I will get there.

Baby H is completely enamored with his Daddy, who seems to have the same calming effect on our son as he does everyone else around him, including me. I naively thought that when I became a mom, I would somehow turn into a less hyperactive version of myself. I thought it would have a calming effect. In fact, I feel less able to relax now than ever before. Is this due to hormonal fluctuation? Or is this a new era of turning more into my Father's daughter than I ever thought possible? Will BAH have to force me to go back to relaxation yoga? Only time will tell, but whatever the case may be, having him back always feels like balance has been restored to The Force.

No Frills Love

2011-01-29T11:52:00.000-08:00

The juncos are foraging in mixed flocks already! What a surprise, that these favorite little birds of mine would be looking for love so early. However, upon glancing at my calendar, I realized that in fact, it is not that early. How did February sneak up on the Pacific Northwest without being noticed? La Nina?

As the month of love approaches, my own capacity to love the simple things in life grows exponentially, along with my son’s goofy little sense of humor and affinity for my mediocre singing. My goal is to memorize the Cold Mountain and Songcatcher soundtracks for him, eventually. I have a thing for old gospel hymns, I guess. They are fun to sing because they were meant only for a single voice. No instruments. No frills.

Trying to lessen the symptoms of a nasty cold for an infant is one of the many things for which there is no instruction manual. Since I obviously had zero clue as to what I was doing, I relied on a combination of old-school and new-school methods. If you do a basic internet search on anything old-school, you will find a million studies on why all of those things are horrible, terrible ways to go :) But, if you have the good sense to listen to your parents once in a while, who used those things on you and your siblings and you all did just fine, you may find a light at the end of the tunnel. A break in the clouds.

In this case, old-school was rubbing Vicks menthol rub on his chest and sucking out his snot with a rubber sucker thing (probably the same one my mom used on me 30+ years ago). New school was infant saline drops and having the luxury of sleeping in the rocker-swing with the little seat elevated. My school (my Becca Original) was just to nurse and cuddle him as much as he wanted; let him fall asleep on me, sing to him, and keep his little beanie over his ears. I also made sure to pump my milk as well as to nurse him and kind of actually force-fed him in this manner in order to ensure he was hydrated and getting enough to eat. His Grandma got him a CD of Jewel lullabies, which he loves…plus, she has a much better voice than I do :)

In getting through this last week of Baby H’s first bad cold, “no frills” became a way of life synonymous with “no sleep”. I thought my heart had been broken before, but not like this, my friends. Seeing your 2 month old stuffy and uncomfortable and miserable managing to squeak out a little laugh as you are changing his clothes makes you feel like your heart is not just broken, but it is being melted and sucked up through a straw. Your breath is taken far, far away, as you think, “who gives a @#$% about sleep?”

In the grand scheme of things, it matters not. Like February during La Nina, it will go unnoticed months from now, but my no frills, mediocre voice will still be singing my baby boy to sleep.

Birthday Week Inspiration!

2011-01-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

This week, I enter the gloriousness of my mid-thirties, so Baby H helped me kick things off with 2 of my favorite things: beer and hiking.

Our visit to the La Conner Brewery in the Skagit River floodplain of La Conner, Washington was long overdue.

Nephew #1 (my fellow b-day partner in crime), LTG, and Brother #3

The Imperial Stout was magical as was the smoked salmon pizza. The atmosphere was warm and woodsy, and Baby H fell right asleep amid the din of cheerful conversation.

Baby H asleep at the La Conner Brewery

It was pouring down rain outside, and we crossed the Skagit river just as it had crested. The weather here has gone from freezing to a balmy, windy, rainy, typical Northwest weather pattern. There is no better weather in which to enjoy a dark stout, in my opinion!

My friend Rachel met up with us for a little hike through Camano Island State Park. Baby H was not having any of it that day, but he still managed to make me laugh when he took a few minutes out of his fussing to play (and initiate!) our little game. Every day on our walks for the last week, I stick my tongue out at him to see if he will do it back. During our hike, he randomly started sticking his tongue out at me while laughing/smiling in between. He is getting so playful and fat! I am one proud momma.

What do I want for my birthday this year? I’ve given this a lot of thought, and have come up with the following amazing list: A maple bar, a shower, a pair of underwear other than the ones I have currently been borrowing from Santa Claus, and a nap :)

Birthdays represent a celebration of your life and are a great time to calibrate your internal GPS, no matter what path you are currently traveling. I recently came across a quote that I think sums up the path I would like to make sure I am on this year:

“I fly a T34. That’s a World War II trainer. My buddy has it. He’s 88, and his wife is afraid he’ll have a heart attack. So, I fly in the backseat, and if he has a heart attack, I can take over. We do rolls and loops. It’s an acrobatic plane.” Louie Zamperini , age 93, from an interview with Laura Hillenbrand for Runner’s World (January 2011 issue, p. 96).

Oddly enough, my Dad just recommended the book Unbroken, which is about Zamperini’s life as an Olympic marathoner and World War II hero. My goal, besides managing not to give my husband a heart attack with my own life's acrobatics, is to have the book actually finished by my next birthday :)

Onward, My Heart

2011-01-12T14:26:00.000-08:00

My time as a Pacific Northwest revert is coming to an end! Five months of being reminded how courteous people are here (in general); Mom's nostalgic, early evening family dinners; and of the chronic house party :)

Not a day has gone by that I have not been grateful for the amazing views of the North Cascades, the delectable selection of freshly brewed coffee, and the warmth of a crackling woodstove by which to rock my baby to sleep.

My 6-week post-partum checkup went well, but like always, I felt as though I was met with an ambiguous response to my question of, "can/when can I start running again?" How do you feel when you get a wishy-washy answer to a direct question? Personally, I think it is that either the person does not know the answer, or they are uncomfortable with the question in the first place. I can't have been the only new mother to ever have asked that question at their 6-week checkup. So, my new plan is to take matters into my own hands, as usual and just design my own plan. It's simple: I will start running again when I can wear real pants without it being sore along the incision site. I was told that what I am currently doing is "probably too much" (whatever that means), but unless I am putting myself or someone else in some kind of long-term danger, the term, "too much", makes little to no sense. Don't ever tell me I am doing to much without being specific because it totally infuriates me. I don't go around telling people they're lazy asses for doing too little, for goodness' sake. I feel good, fine, great, and energized, if not a bit feisty :) Onward, I say!

My awesome son talks to anything and anyone...he even talks in his sleep and while he is nursing. What is he saying? I am not really sure, but hopefully he's not saying, "ummm...yeah...my mom is a total nutball" :) It's neat having a baby who, at least so far, seems to like cuddle and play time just as much as he likes his alone time. We've also discovered he is very ticklish! Sure, we have had our nights recently as we have had to practice implementing self-soothing behaviors (and it really works!); we have gone through an intense growth spurt; and he has had and gotten over his first little cold. I once (foolishly) thought that running a marathon was the hardest mental challenge I would ever have to endure. Not so. Letting your sweet baby cry for 20 minutes is...as is gluing your shattered heart back into place afterward :)

I found this picture one night recently as I was stalking my sister-in-law's Facebook page :) My parents have been so extremely patient with my grouchy, sleep-deprived self in these last 6 weeks (and in the preggo weeks prior). They have done much for us over the last 5 months, including but not limited to assuring me that I am not crazy (regardless of what they may think, haha). I will miss our time together and am so thankful that they have had this time to bond with their new grandson!

Nephew #1 has a birthday coming up in the same week as his Aunt Becca...we plan to do it up big! I am going to miss him most of all. It will be a few more years before he is old enough to come visit us without his Grandparents accompanying him, but we will be waiting, wherever we are, for that special day.

Farewell mossy mountain views! Farewell family...May you enjoy my legacy of a half-assed bug collection , storage shed full of Lysol, and the soundtrack to Ponyo :) xoxo

Celebrator of Days

2011-01-06T12:21:00.000-08:00

We're on the move!

Pacific Northwest temperatures have been sunny, chilly, and dry this past week, making for deliciously wonderful walking weather. What good timing too, with this coming weekend being the 6-week birthday of my son. Six weeks, for many new moms, represents the final, post-partum checkup and the beginning of the point at which the start of a light workout routine is allowed. I anticipate a good, healthy checkup and have already begun daily walks, both with and without my little papoose in the front carrier.

If anyone needs a little inspiration and/or motivation to get moving this year, come join me on the Dailymile! It's a great way to set goals and hold yourself accountable as well as to track your progress. I did this last year for a few months and loved it. The venue is much like Facebook where people can comment on your workouts, and you can see what your workout "friends" are doing. Last year, I got a lot of great workout ideas and met a lot of folks from around the world. It was even a nice way to get involved in some friendly competition.

Hopefully things are starting off well for all of you this year, whether you are a resolution setter or just a celebrator of winter days in general.

Happy January!

A New Year of Truths

2010-12-31T09:47:00.000-08:00

Attempting to take a squirmy gerbil picture in new baby Christmas camo. From back left: Nephew #2 (11mons), Nephew #1 (almost 6) , Nephew #3 (6mons). Front: the newest addition, my Baby H (4wks).

Wishing all of you a wonderful and bright new year! To kick off the new year, the other night I got my first baby kisses. While I know that at 4.5 weeks old, the reality is that he was just mimicking me, the truth is, it was the most incredible thing ever, and like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day :)

One of my good friends told me that when my son was born, she wanted to know the real truth behind this whole parenthood thing. My answer (so far) to that question is that there are 2 truths. The first truth is that of core values and common sense. It is unwavering and never changes, and it seems that you either have them or you don't; you either pass them on to your kids your you don't. Throughout the ages, it has been the same, unwavering truth. The second truth is that you redefine luxury and love the moment they are born. Pre-baby luxury included long stretches of uninterrupted time alone, enjoying a glass of wine or a meal without a time limit, and jumping in the shower whenever I pleased, taking as long as I wanted to bathe. Post-baby luxury is any stretch of time, knowing full well I will be interrupted and actually being okay with that :) It is learning how to chug a glass of wine or spend 4 hours drinking it; likewise, it is chowing down on cold toast or protein shake and thinking it is the most delicious food in the world. It is making a choice between taking a shower or returning a phone call, and being completely happy with just having the choice to make in the first place.

Luxury becomes synonymous with acceptance.

As for love? Well, it's pretty much like a Michael Crichton novel...It's like a billion tiny ultra-bio-machine organisms that fuse to your cells and replicate to the core of your DNA. You are so overtaken by it, whatever it is, that you can't even remember how you lived without it just 5 weeks prior.

Love, therefore, becomes synonymous with taking a breath.

Reprocessing the World

2010-12-22T17:37:00.000-08:00

Mama LOVES to kiss those sweet little cheeks!

I can't believe that Christmas day marks the 4-week birthday of my baby boy, already! Even more unbelievable is the enormous quantity of data that both of our brains have processed in that short time :) The most surprising thing about being a new mom, so far, is the fact that your brain literally reroutes and reprocesses the entire world around you in that context. Nobody told me about that part of all this, but perhaps it happens to make you more aware of the fact that your little baby is going through the same thing. Maybe it is the most intimate thing that you can share with your child, besides love.

My incision is healing very nicely and quickly (yeay), and I can take stairs like nobody's business. Today marked a few firsts in the marathon training of post c-section motherhood: First outing by myself with just baby and first time I was able to lift him in the carseat into the car AND from the car to the stroller. Today was also the first day that I didn't really have any pain and felt the urge to stretch my tummy, which itched through to the deepest layer. A sign of healing, I presume. The bottom line? All of this equates to a visible form of freedom, mobility, and long walks in the foothills of the Cascades.

We are ready (and so excited) for the Curly Blonde and Nephew #3 to come up for Christmas and come with us on our winter walks!

Wishing you all a blessed and bright holiday!

Humbling Confession Session

2010-12-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Walk to the mailbox. 2010. The Finish Line

Of the 600 things I said I would never do when I became a parent, I believe I have already done approximately 15 of them in the first 2 weeks of my son's life. Humbling, to say the least. That, by the way, is exactly what I get for being a judgmental, cantankerous young woman. In light of the fact that it is Wednesday (and a person should tell the truth on Wednesday), I thought I might share a few of these things. Take what you will from this, be it humor, pity, empathy, or just plain data. The bottom line? Love makes you do crazy things, the most important of which is to laugh at yourself :)

1. I will never use disposable diapers (haha)...Well, you tell me after you've had a c-section, how many loads of laundry you're realistically able to do, even with your mother doing most of your lifting and laundry for you in the first 2 weeks. The compromise? Seventh Generation, chlorine free diapers.

2. I will never let my baby fall asleep in front of the TV...Born to 2 pretty quiet parents, my son likes noise. It could be because he is a newborn, or it could be that this is something he just likes. We won't know for a while. But I can tell you, he wakes up as soon as the room is quiet. He prefers having his head on someone's chest, in front of the TV (blaring so that his deaf mother and grandfather can hear it), with the sound of the babbling brook going on the swing. He also "likes" classical music and ESPN news :) Much to his father's dismay, I also believe he likes Jewell and Judy Garland, only because both of those voices have stopped him in his crying tracks on more than one occasion. The compromise? None. The damn thing is on 24-7 now.

3. I will never let my baby sleep anywhere other than his bassinet or crib (haha)...Oh yes...He sleeps everywhere. I have tried very hard to make it a habit that as SOON as I see his little mouth-breather mouth open (a sign he is for really real asleep), he goes in the crib, especially during the day. The compromise? It has become such that in the night (between 10pm and 5am) I let him sleep in my bed after feedings. Co-sleeping is something that has been greatly discouraged in the last several years due to SIDS research; however, it is making a comeback now that a lot of people in the parenting and medical community have begun to realize what total BS a lot of that info is. Common sense wins. Don't put blankets on your baby's face; lay them on their back. Done and done. The 2 times he has had long sleep sessions (3.5-4 hours at a time) have been co-sleeping sessions. He also sleeps for short periods in his swing, on my shoulder, and pretty much on anyone who wants a sleeping baby on their chest, in the car, in the stroller....this list goes on.

Light in the Wilderness...Welcome to the World, My Son!

2010-12-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

My beautiful son, born just after Thanksgiving, to 2 grateful (and smitten) parents!

Me, my seconds-old baby, and my Mom, after one unplanned and successful c-section

Snuggly, pink, and loves our [very] short little winter walks outside! So far, I think he looks like a pretty good cross between BAH and I, except for his giant hands...no idea where those came from, or whether he'll grow into them or just have really big hands :)

Cousins! With Nephew #1, who has done a very good job of trying to be quiet to let his auntie sleep because even though Baby H can sleep through anything...his momma can't :)

Our first outing! BAH was particularly excited about the "beer holder" on the stroller in this photo...

They say you need to sleep when the baby sleeps. Let me tell you that this is 1) the most important piece of advice you will receive, 2) the hardest thing to do amid countless (and blessed, welcomed, appreciated) phone calls, visitors, text messages, adrenaline, hunger, etc., and 3) something that is easy once you actually learn to do it and see how good you and baby both feel as a result! Having had a c-section, this is particularly important in pain management and overall sanity, so for those of you who find yourselves in the same boat one day, remember...sleep!

My sweet baby boy and I are currently enjoying my Mom's delicious cooking and one goal in life right now, which is to see to it I am well-fed. My Dad has been helpful too! He keeps the downstairs firewood supply nice and stalked up since I am not able to lift anything heavier than the baby or go up and down stairs just yet. He has also been very helpful at providing rock-a-bye sessions and keeping Nephew #1 entertained.

Week #1 in getting to know this sweet baby boy has been a wild ride. I've never felt so humbled, clueless, and in love in my entire life. It's like a combination of being in survival mode and having an out-of-body experience; of that feeling when you first fall in love and of that knowledge that comes with the realization that looking into those big, baby eyes is like falling through a rabbit hole of other-worldly guilt for not knowing a darn thing about how to raise a son, and all you can do about it is give perpetual thanks to God for allowing you the opportunity in spite of this :)

We welcome you to our adventure, my son! You are our light in the wilderness.

Worthy of Disintegration in 2011 (and possibly TMI)

2010-11-24T07:17:00.000-08:00

Last year, I did a post on items in my running bag that I couldn't live without, that I had worn down to the nubbins, to the fray, and/or had stockpiled for 2010. In the spirit of that post, Worthy of Disintegration in 2010 (and possibly TMI), I thought it would be fun to continue the tradition. This year, however, instead of dissecting my running bag, I thought it would be more applicable to go through the items in my pregnancy bag, especially since I spent more of the year pregnant than running :) As is the tradition, products must have proven themselves to be worthy of disintegration, over-use, and/or unnatural attachment/superstition at some point in my pregnancy world. You may be looking for the perfect items to fill your own/someone you love's pregnancy survival kit at some point in 2011, and if so, may you or your someone special be filled with joy and health throughout this amazing journey! Without further adieu and in no particular order, I heart:


Exercise ball for sitting on. This SAVED my back and sacrum and feels SO good to stretch out, roll, bounce, and do yoga on. I was recently told to stop bouncing on it since I am now on bedrest, but I still stretch on it almost every night. LOVE this thing.

This book came highly recommended by the group of midwives I had the pleasure of knowing at NTC Point Loma (San Diego). It was written by a mother-daughter team, who "wrote [the] book as a travel guide on [the pregnancy] journey". That description was enough to sell me on this book instead of some of the other more popular choices. The authors consulted with a number of well-credentialed professionals and do a great job presenting and differentiating between scientific fact and opinion. I have loved every moment of it, especially the week-by-week descriptions.

I picked up Shiva Rea's basic prenatal yoga DVD from Target after I started having issues keeping my blood pressure down. Prior to increasing the number of days per week I did prenatal yoga, I was fast-walking an hour + per day on the beach most days. My blood pressure did go back to normal in the second and third trimester, (until the last couple of weeks) which may have been coincidental. Either way, this was a very easy, very relaxing addition to daily preggo life, and I liked how they had 3 different women you could follow (one for each trimester).

Psyllium husk fiber! This stuff was actually on my running list too :) I guess it will be with me for life. There's nothing quite like the absorbing, cleansing, gentle nature of this product while your body is growing a baby! Make sure to drink plenty of water with it. I found that during the first trimester, it was a little hard to keep it, juice, cheerios, AND a prenatal vitamin down, so during weeks 9-14-ish, I had to wait a couple of hours between this and cheerios. Those are the things you figure out for yourself.

Okay, so this one is kind of weird, but I had a MAJOR ant problem over the summer in San Diego after a series of major construction projects began in our condo complex. This stuff is made out of cinnamon , menthol, and eucalyptus oil. It was not only the ONLY thing that worked in my battle with the ants, it was pregnancy-safe! So, if you find yourself with an ant infestation during your pregnancy, I recommend you give this stuff a try.

Yes To Cucumbers! Cucumbers, Spirulina, sea minerals, and broccoli. Delicious ingredients mixed into an olive and avocado oil base, with a very light and cooling scent that will not gag you if you become extremely sensitive to smells, as I did. I remember initially using a cocoa butter lotion, but the smell of it made me so nauseous that I couldn't continue the cocoa butter tradition.

My number one staple during this pregnancy has been fruit! Pineapple and lemon were big ones in the first trimester. Apples are amazing for fighting heartburn in the third trimester. Mango is strangely comforting. Prunes (and other dried fruit) are full of iron and loaded with fiber, sugar, and sweetness. I probably ate a diet of 60% fruit for the first several months. Later in the pregnancy, I did experience cravings for protein, but it is beyond me how people sit and eat a package of Oreos or gorge themselves on greasy food while pregnant. Alas, we are all snowflakes :)

On that note, and just so we are perfectly clear that I am no angel...I have to come clean about my Coke habit! There is NOTHING, and I mean nothing that even came close to fighting nausea like a few sips of icy-cold, cinnamony (I always think it tastes like cinnamon), lemony (and lemon) Coca Cola! This was not a daily habit, but this product was something that I am sure I would have DIED without during the first trimester. It honestly did not take much...just a few sips. I would not recommend drinking an entire 12 ounce can or even drinking it daily, but just know it's there if you need it, get to the point where you will do anything, and find ginger ale to be the biggest anti-nausea joke of all time :)

Faith and the ability to deal with change...Hopefully these 2 things dwell inside of you because while they are absolutely necessary, they are hard to find if you don't already posses them :)

Thanksgiving Begins

2010-11-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

I have not been home to the Pacific Northwest for the Thanksgiving holiday in years, and this morning I even woke up to news of a small dusting of snow in the nearby town of Bellingham, WA! I am sure I will be much less excited about this as the winter season approaches with even more “dustings” and freezing temperatures, but for this native Washingtonian turned Californian, seasonal weather patterns are always exciting and strangely comforting.

Scenes from the basement. Great-Grandmother's pastel work pre-dating WWII. 2010 The Finish Line

I can’t stop obsessing about taking my baby for walks in the snow once he’s born. He’ll be my little snow bunny! Looking forward to being active and mobile again soon, but in the mean time, I have been enjoying a productive period of rest and relaxation, difficult as that may be.

Common photo in image search for the Dust Bowl. Photographer unkown

I’ve spoken to several people recently who have mentioned that they have The Worst Hard Time on their reading list as well. While I usually find that whatever I am reading seems to come with impeccable timing for whatever I am to get from it, I highly recommend bumping it up on your list! I’ve loved Egan’s work ever since The Good Rain, and whether or not you agree with his environmental views and general distrust of government and mob mentality, you will find that he has a unique way of thickly layering illustrations of humanity, survival, and compassion on his historical-political essayist style. Beautiful work. I love it when writers are able to use contrasting imagery to make a point because you well remember those points. Displays of desperation next to those of hope and integrity. The Worst Hard Time has accomplished this.

Whatever is going on in your life at this moment, I challenge you to proceed forward this Thanksgiving week with gratitude, forgiveness (of self and others), and with much joy. Many Blessings for a happy, humble holiday!

On Bedrest and Being Banned from the Lysol

2010-11-12T11:08:00.000-08:00

It's not that I am unable to relax without running and wine and yoga. I am relaxed, dammit! :) It's mainly that my whole body just starts feeling itchy and twitchy if I sit for very long in one position, then I start feeling like I can't breathe. It's just this innate need to move, pregnant or not. Hyperactive gene? Maybe. There is a whole wide world of fun to be had, sometimes in your own kitchen, sometimes on your own street, and sometimes, in the voices of the mountains or the desert that beckon to us all from time to time.

Of all the people to be put on bedrest, this future momma is certainly not the best-ever candidate! :) The bottom line is my baby is as healthy and as off-the-charts-active as can be (as per the last 3 non-stress tests), but my blood pressure is suddenly high, so I'm grounded from running around, shopping, meeting people for brunch, cleaning, hiking, bouncing on my ball chair for hours a day while I write, and playing football with Nephew #1. Full-on double complete rainbow of the hardest thing ever: sitting still.

Last night, upon getting discharged from the latest hospital visit, the nurses were like, do you understand that if you do not behave, the next step is full-on bedrest where you can't even get up to take a shower?? Yes, I say, looking shameful. I hear you. There are definite dangers to high blood pressure, and I guess I figured that as long as my baby was okay, I was good to go, but you can actually have lasting damage from it if you're not careful. You can also have serious stuff like a stroke, if it gets too out of control.

So, while my sweet baby boy stays safe in his happy place for just a little while longer, my goal is to 1) finish my latest 2 GREAT reads, The Worst Hard Time, by Timothy Egan and Cat's Eye, by Margaret Atwood; 2) finish my latest short story, The Troll; 3) catch up editing in my online critique group (BEST thing you can ever do to improve your skills as a writer, in my opinion, besides actually writing); 4) catch up reviewing/editing for writer friends who sent me their stories ages ago; and 5) actually calling people I owe calls to back on the real telephone!!! I know, it's insane. I am the worst friend ever! Don't get too excited...

Lastly, I plan on enjoying the amazing hospitality of my parents, who have banned me from the kitchen and from the Lysol. They are truly amazing people for putting up with me during this time. Between BAH and I, my son comes from a pretty long line of hyperactive and fun-loving kookballs :)

A Week of Inspiration

2010-11-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

We've witnessed the most exquisite views of the Olympic Mountains during the last week, which sported a couple of beautifully clear fall days here on Camano Island. Every time I drive into town, I am jaw-droppingly humbled by the sight of their snow-capped peaks. Remember to breathe, I tell myself. And, for goodness' sake, keep a camera in the car!

Some amazing wildlife and nature photographers/artists live in Island County. This place is so full of inspiration and wonder, it is a miracle anyone can remember where they are going or what they are doing as they drive by these spectacular views! My son kicks and jumps in my belly. He's getting ready for our future excursions to these wondrous places. Maybe they will calm and envelop his heart the way they do my own? Either way, he will at least know they exist and that he never has to be needlessly confined to the house or the city if he doesn't want to be.

This was a fun filled weekend as I worked on my ever-evolving author's website for my works of fiction, signed up for another writer's conference of the online/virtual format, was honored by a beautiful and sweet baby shower, and had the chance to meet up with an old friend for Sunday brunch. What a great way to end the week and celebrate the end of Daylight Savings in the great Pacific Northwest!

I loved the seahorse theme!

Cutest idea ever!

How is it that I know so many wonderfully creative people? I could not think of stuff like this to save my life :)

Me with the host of this beautiful gathering: my Mom's BFF and one of the sweetest people you will ever meet

Harvest of Smiles

2010-11-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

I love vintage holiday cards! Hope you all had a fun and safe Halloween week.

We started things out by carving the most random pumpkins ever and roasting the seeds...

LTG and Brother #3 carving pumpkins from Schuh Farms, our local favorite

Brother #2 and Nephew #2 at one of the local pumpkin patches in Marysville, WA

We smiled a lot...and then smiled some more. Nephew #1 and Pumpkinhead

Grandma and Grandpa with baby bear, Nephew #2

My own little pumpkin...and finally a mama sporting one haircolor, au naturale!

And we prepared for the next phase...Brother #3 and Nephew #1 getting ready for basketball season

Many Blessings for a Bountiful November...Image from the web (photographer unknown, 2010)

Balancing the Chronic House Party

2010-10-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

Image from the very entertaining, sorryimissedyourparty.com

I can’t believe I haven’t used a neti pot until now. A neti pot virgin no more, I heart this ancient method of restoring anti-inflammatory love to the mucous membranes and sinuses. Yes, it stings. Yes, it feels like you are drowning even though you can breathe. Yes, you need to tilt your head forward lest it run down the back of your throat. No, you will not regret this.

My eyes are clear, I can taste, I can breathe. My ears don’t hurt. I am no longer freaking out about having to go to the doctor and having (for the second time since being in WA) the worst cold ever, at 35 weeks pregnant. I glance at my arsenal of anti-inflammatory ginger tea, Reed’s ginger candies, and garlicy couscous with cranberries and roasted almonds. I inhale the steam from the pot of miso broth brewing on my stove. I sip Kefir. I remember now, what it is like to live in the cold, dark, damp of the Pacific Northwest. Beautiful, green, surrounded by the constant party of family and easy to succumb to the foods that will keep my immune system weak: coffee, sugar, and bread/white flour products. Thank goodness I’m pregnant or I could probably throw beer into that list as well.

Image from the very entertaining, sorryimissedyourparty.com

Balance has been restored. Please stay.

I am quickly realizing that living with my parents, nephew and brother is not much different that living with crazy college roommates. For one thing, day or night, there’s always someone willing and able to party with you and/or make you food and/or eat your food. There’s always drama of some kind. I’m always shutting off all the lights. I’m always laughing at or with someone. The TV, which no one actually watches, is always on. Someone is always up reading something fascinating, controversial, or nostalgic. No one knows where anyone is, but they have a lot of guesses.

Image from the very entertaining, sorryimissedyourparty.com

They think neti pots, ginger candy, and couscous are weird but are willing to try anything twice. Sounds vaguely familiar :)

A Corner and a Piece of Time

2010-10-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

Sunflower from my Mom's garden. 2010 THE FINISH LINE.

Sometimes, while creating a map of the world, one is lucky enough to find a corner and a piece of time in which to be able to completely loose themselves to a mouth-watering and joyous obsession. As it is appropriate to both the season and the time in my life, I wanted to share this one.

Acceptance

When the spent sun throws up its rays on cloud

And goes down burning into the gulf below,

No voice in nature is heard to cry aloud

At what has happened. Birds, at least, must know

It is the change to darkness in the sky.

Murmuring something quiet in her breast,

One bird begins to close a faded eye;

Or overtaken too far from his nest,

Hurrying low above the grove, some waif

Swoops just in time to his remembered tree.

At most he thinks or twitters softly, "Safe!

Now let the night be too dark for all of me.

Let the night be too dark for me to see

Into the future, Let what will be, be."

Robert Frost

Scenes from the library room. 2010 THE FINISH LINE

When I come home for holiday visits and summer vacations, I like to stay in "the library room". My parents have a sweet collection of books, both old and new, and it's a fun and comforting place to sleep. I've converted the library room into a half-nursery now, but before I go to sleep every night, I usually skim through my Mom's collection of old poetry or fairy tales from before the turn of the century.

Scenes from the hallway of the library room. Some random great-grandmother's baby stuff. 2010 THE FINISH LINE

Mom and Dad also have a beautiful collection of history books and then of course, there are all of the childrens books from when we were kids. It is easy to get lost in this wonderland. My recent treasure is the compilation, The Complete Poems of Robert Frost (1949), from which I found this gem and several others.
Happy mapping, everyone!